I had a really brilliant idea the other day.
First the back story.
A friend of mine was telling me that her Crazy Ex just got engaged after dating a woman for a month. Yes, a month … four weeks.
My friend wishes she knew the fiancée, so she could warn her of what she is getting herself into. (A big bowl of lies, manipulation and craziness.) But since my friend doesn’t know the fiancée, she can’t warn her about Mr. Crazy’s crazy antics.
And that’s when it hit me: What this country needs is a National Registry of Crazy Exes.
If you’ve ever been a single adult, you’ve probably dated someone who was Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. And wouldn’t it have been great if you could’ve known what was in store for you before you asked Mr. or Ms. Cuckoo out?
Googling your date; checking his or her Facebook, LinkedIn and other social networking pages; and running other reconnaissance (like subtly asking mutual friends for information) can only tell you so much.
No one’s going to post “compulsive lying and manipulating” as a hobby on Facebook.
So wouldn’t it be great if those guilty of serious relationship crimes could be nominated by their “victims” and cataloged in a national online registry along with their relationship rap sheet?
Now, I know that one person’s idea of crazy is another person’s idea of charming. But I am talking about universally accepted relationship felonies and insanity:
* Compulsive lying
* Habitual manipulation
* Extreme jealousy and possessiveness
* Control issues
* Abuse of any and all kinds
* Serial snooping and breaking and entering (This includes breaking into Facebook and e-mail accounts, significant other’s homes, workplaces, etc.)
I think we can all agree these relationship crimes are universally bad for everyone involved, unattractive and deal-breakers. And if you don’t think these are bad, relationship deal-breakers, I recommend getting your self-esteem levels checked out. You might need a tune-up.
Anyway, I just like to know what I’m getting into. I’m not a fan of drama. I’d like to know ahead of time if my current dish comes with a side of crazy, so I can gracefully make my excuses.
So, fellow Americans, I will be asking Congress to take up new legislation. We’ll call it the Bever Bill. This ground-breaking bill will establish a National Registry of Crazy Exes for the betterment of all single and sane humankind. Please support the Bever Bill by contacting your Congresspersons — and nominating your favorite Crazy Ex.
Gina Bever is a local public relations professional and woman-about-town. She’s known for providing her friends — male and female — with thousands of hours of free therapy and (asked for) relationship advice.
ASK GINA: Send questions about relationships to Gina at malecall@timesfree press.com.