Let’s get straight to the mailbag, shall we? I think we shall.
From JB
Jay,
A couple of things I would like to see go away in football announcing. First, the stadium announcer with the hugely obnoxious and loud “IT’S THIRRRRRRD DOWWWWWN!!” We paid $200 to get in here and are well aware of what down it is. They still use it when the home team is down 3 scores with 3 mins left — really? Each announcer seems to have his own shtick, and some surely have to take a breath they drag it on so long.
I’m out of the demographic they are trying to reach, but does there have to be a blast of something between every single play? The guy with the best reflexes on the team is the dude who stops that noise within .001 seconds of the play being called or kickoff being caught, and then resumes immediately, insuring there will be no peace. Just give me more Kiss Cam. There’s always a few chuckles in there.
Also, every time a player goes down or shaken up on the field, 99% of the time the announcer will say “They can’t afford to lose him” or similar. Just once I wish they would be honest and say “you know, this is Jones’s 3rd sub par game in a row, and a great opportunity to give someone else a shot. We hope he’s ok, but they should be fine with the rookie from LSU”
Agree?
JB,
Completely agree.
(Side question: Is the Kiss Cam still socially accepted since they used to always put two dudes on the screen at some point and then everyone would laugh as the guys freaked out, whether real or staged?)
And you are 100% right that announces always say, “They can’t afford to lose so-and-so,” and it would be a treat for them to actually address it how you phrased it.
And there are so many of those out there that truly have become insulting to even the casual sports fan. Here’s a sport-by-sport (at least of the sports I watch, even occasionally) list of my biggest “No (bleep) Sherlock” terms/phrases of analysis:
Golf — “He needs to find the fairway on this hole.” (Thanks, doctor, as opposed the seventh hole, where he can find the water or the pine straw and laugh it off.)
Baseball — “He wants to throw a strike here.” (Or just about anything that comes out of Brian Jordan’s mouth when he’s doing Braves games.)
Basketball — “They really need a good look on this possession.” (I’ve been in about 23,000 basketball huddles in my life and nary a single time can I remember hearing or saying, “Gang, let’s go get a terrible shot next time we get the ball. Got it?”)
NASCAR — “Rubbin’s racing.” (OK, I’m sure J-Mac may have a few others to add here, but quoting the nonsensical “Days of Thunder” — and back to another Robert Duvall turn as Harry Hogg — is neither insight nor original. It in fact is nonsensical.)
Tennis — “First serve is key.” I barely know a tennis ball from a Butterball, but even I know that, people.
Football — Actually, looking for more group input here because simply put there are too many. The two that jumped directly to mind as the type of predictable and irritating options you mentioned JB are these:
— When a team misses an extra point and the announcer almost always and almost immediately says — and almost verbatim — “This could come back to haunt them.”
— And the pregame analysis of “Needs to win the turnover battle” screams that the analysis either stayed out all night before the game kicking back CoColas or truly has no idea or original thought in their concussed cranium.
Thoughts?
From FantasyFootballers
(Editor’s note: We got a few of these from folks who were in their fantasy football leagues and wanted to share them as case 1 and case 2. I removed some specifics and did not cut and paste the emails like I normally do to give the players some cover.)
Case 1
Player A is down by less than 5 points with two players in the Bills-Bengals game — a defensive player and a RB. (Editor’s note part II: If your league does just team defenses and not defensive players, suggest the change for next year. It’s a great expansion to any league in my view.)
Player A trims the lead to less than 2 points in the short amount of time the Monday night game actually played, even generating a concession from his championship round opponent and congrat texts from others in the league.
Then the game gets postponed and everyone goes radio silent. (Editor’s note, part III: We know now the game has been canceled and will not be made up.)
Player A suggested splitting the pot — 80% went to the winner; 20% to the runner-up — before the decision was announced by the NFL, but again crickets.
Case 2
Player A was down by a small margin before the kickoffs. Player A had a QB in the Monday night game and had moved ahead. Now QBs can lose points, too, and his opponent had a defense in the game but the online percentages had Player A’s chance of winning close to 99%.
What do you think the decision should be?
Gang,
I’m thankful and relieved that Damar Hamlin’s doing better. That’s the big thing, of course.
But the ripples — be it playoff status to gambling to fantasy football to even the teams questioning whether they should play this week — have been strong and far-reaching.
And I appreciate you two people for sharing your fantasy football stories.
I think Case A’s suggestion to split the pot sounds to be the most fair, especially in a never-seen-before scenario like this.
Thoughts?
From Chas
For the bag: Jay has called it a debacle. Others call it a train wreck or a five-alarm dumpster fire.
Whatever you call it, the historically stinky attempt to choose a Speaker of the House tarnishes the GOP’s already battered image.
Senate Minority Leader McConnell poses for pictures with President Joe Biden in Cincy, finally getting done the much-needed, long-awaited bottleneck bridge replacement while House Republicans attempt to burn the House down.
How about this to escape the impasse that keeps our nation’s business from getting done. Choose whoever on the Republican side is the equivalent of the Dems’ Joe Manchin, nominate him for Speaker, and elect him with a vote of all the Dems and five Republicans?
You’d have a Republican Speaker with a shot at bipartisan progress. Wouldn’t that shake up the current D.C. sludge in a way that diminishes partisan politics and advances the interests of We the People?
And,
“Will either Coach Musselman or Coach Calipari jump on the Texas job?”
Chas,
I prefer the second question to the first, but it’s not fair or constructive to only talk politics when it’s Biden and Co. forcing me to pay $7 for a dozen eggs.
This has assuredly been a P.R. disaster. How am I so sure? Well for starters, Clay Bennett is smiling so much and whistling while he works in the TFP office so loudly, I’m afraid his jaws are going to lock.
But in some ways, and maybe this is a half-full view from an admitted Republican, I’m OK with any federal elected official doing what they believe to be right rather than toting the party line, you know?
This is especially true for me if a few GOPers are not voting for McCarthy as a sign of defiance to the Trump bumpers.
Conversely, if McCarthy’s assertions are accurate that the GOP holdouts are doing this for self-serving and worse still self-benefiting reasons like appointments or pork considerations, well, shame on them.
But a process like this done right should occasionally be messy, right? Especially when the margin is that slim.
So maybe saying it’s been a debacle is fair or a bit much. In some ways, disagreeing is a good thing, especially in politics.
That said, I know a lot on the left are enjoying every ounce of it. Just ask Clay.
As for the Texas job — which is now open because Chris Beard was fired for cause after his domestic violence arrest Dec. 12 — I shall borrow Mr. Havercamp’s famous line as his wife was playing the third fairway at Bushwood Country Club:
“That’s a peach, hun.”
Arkansas coach Eric Musselman has done some real work and would be on my short list. Danny Hurley has done work at UConn too. And the interim guy will get a long look if Texas continues to win, which it likely will because that’s a really good crew.
Kentucky coach John Calipari would not be among my top five, because if he can’t get UK to the Final Four with those recruiting classes, what should Texas expect? He’s a monster name and Texas would get high marks for the higher, but I’m not sure “luring” away someone from Kentucky sends any other message than “that dude couldn’t cut it at the highest level. Wait, aren’t we at the highest level?”
While I normally refrain from answering a question with a question, would you call Bruce Pearl? Dude can clearly coach and he may have reached his total ceiling at my alma mater.
Thoughts?
From a slew of you
TCU-Georgia predictions?
Gang,
I think Georgia wins. They are better and they are significantly deeper.
TCU’s one loss was to Kansas State in the Big 12 title game and it was a barn-burner. (Side question: Phrase barn-burner, friend or foe? Normally it’s meant to describe an event that was thrilling and/or dramatic and even fun. Not sure how many barns any of us have watched burn, but does the phrase and the interpretation mesh?)
Anywell, Kansas State faced Bama in the Sugar Bowl and got a mudhole stomped in their helmets. And no, I have not been swayed into Doug’s comparative score nonsense.
But here’s the rub: Alabama and Georgia are the only two teams like Alabama and Georgia. And the trait those two share that no other team in the country can match — not even THE Ohio State — is, while lots of teams can be great to potentially elite 1-16 or even 1-22, no one is close to as great 1-50-plus as the Tide and the Dawgs.
And that’s more than in-game depth. That’s the layers of preparation that make Georgia’s practices way more challenging than any opponent they have played (other than Bama) over the last 24-plus months.
The waves of future Sunday starters is staggering. And something TCU can’t match or replicate.
Double-digit lines in games like this are frightening for sure, because TCU has that it factor that gives off the team of destiny vibe. But Georgia embracing its experience (a big edge) in moments like this and its extreme talent edge could post a 45-21 romp, too.
So, I like Georgia to win. My favorite bet — as of right now — on the game is over the total of 62. And if you can find it, I would place a taste on Stetson Bennett as MVP. The media loves that dude.
Have a great weekend, friends.