My jaw was clenched, my hands were gripping the sides of the chair so hard that I probably left permanent indentations, and anyone paying close attention would probably have been able to recognize that the smile on my face was very forced and likely to evaporate at any moment.
The ministry has very high highs and low lows that can follow in whiplash-fast succession. This was one of those days. I had just left the home of a family just a few miles from my church, and the result of that meeting was a lady and her husband kneeling down beside the couch while the wife repented of her sin and asked Jesus to forgive her and be her Lord and Savior.
Twenty minutes later, it was the jaw clenched/hands gripping/forced smile scene. I had driven just 10 miles and was then in the lobby of the local emergency room on another visit altogether. This time with a wicked and belligerent young man who was, once again, strung out on drugs and was at the ER for various “mysterious pains.”
This young man has every conceivable reason to do right and yet refuses to do so.
In cases like that, I have simply been in the ministry too long to stroke and pet people who need a swift kick in the fanny. I very calmly yet pointedly explained to the young man how stupid he was being and what he stood to lose while he made one excuse after another, laying all the blame at the feet of others far and near.
My voice stayed low and even, his grew higher and higher until he finally reached a near-shrieking crescendo.
“Fine!” he bellowed, I’ll just (expletive) move away where nobody knows me. That will make everything (expletive) better!”
“No, it won’t,” I answered firmly, “because you will be taking your biggest problem with you: YOU!”
At that point, he apparently decided that he was not hurting very badly anymore because he got up and stormed out. The last time I saw him that day, he was walking down the street, still cursing.
And he was carrying his biggest problem with him, just as I warned him that he would.
No less than the great Apostle Paul, in Romans 7:18 said, “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.”
Our flesh always has been and always will be desperately wicked until that day that Christ returns and the bodies of the children of God are finally redeemed as fully as their souls and spirits have been. Anyone ignoring that fact does so at his or her own peril.
Early in the history of our church, a man was saved out of a background of drunkenness. A few weeks later he stood up in church during a time of testimonies and confidently proclaimed, “I am done with alcohol forever. I have beaten this. I will never take a drink again!” I immediately said, “You are already in trouble if you trust your flesh that much. You may be saved, but you will still have your flesh till the day you die. You need to be much more fearful of what it is capable of.”
Just days later, he was drunk again. A few weeks later, he was back in church again, broken, repentant and fearful. “Preacher,” he said with wide eyes, “I can’t trust myself even for a second!” I smiled and said, “And now we are getting somewhere. As long as you remember that, you will likely be in good shape.”
The difference between victory over sin and utter defeat at its hands is usually this one thing: Those who make excuses, lay the blame at the feet of others or trust their flesh will almost certainly fall. Those who, like Paul, have enough sense to realize the inherent wickedness they still carry with them every single day will likely maintain enough godly fear to remain humble before God, thus ensuring their victory.
Every one of us carries our biggest problem with us everywhere we go. Recognizing that fact changes everything.
Bo Wagner is pastor of Cornerstone Baptist Church of Mooresboro, North Carolina, a widely traveled evangelist and the author of several books available on Amazon and at www.wordofhismouth.com. Email him at 2knowhim@cbc-web.org.