My Mom really wants me to get married — immediately, if not seven years ago. She likes to remind me of this fact subtly and often.
Don’t get me wrong, my Mom rocks. But she’s a Mom, and she’s Italian, and she can’t help wanting to marry me off.
Single people deal with a lot of pressure to get married — and not just from their moms. Other family members, friends, coworkers, even the IRS, all conspire every day to get single people, especially of a certain age, to surrender and get married already.
So how do you deal with the people in your life that just can’t deal with your singleness?
My favorite tactic — and the one I’ve found to be the most successful — is The Waiting Game. You just wait out the pressure. I’ve noticed that the longer I’ve been single, the less people ask me why I’m not married or not getting married.
I don’t know if they get tired of asking, or of hearing my snappy comebacks like, “I know you want me to be happy. But I’d be a lot less happy if I had to wash someone else’s smelly socks.”
Or if they think I’m some cautionary tale about where feminism went wrong. Either way, people have moved on to asking me new and improved awkward questions.
Yes, The Waiting Game requires more patience than even I have sometimes, and the skill of a high-level diplomat, especially at Thanksgiving and other family events. Still, it works.
Another great tactic to try is The Number Game. Just point out the facts and figures of being married. Do a little research for some fun statistics and don’t be afraid to throw some math out there. Because you can’t argue with numbers.
I once used The Number Game very successfully with my Mom and a conversation regarding me and having a baby at 40. (For the record, I don’t want children, and I have several years to go before reaching 40. My mother just likes to work ahead.)
To make my point, I just told Mom some simple math: If I had a child at 40, I would be the same age as my Mom when my child graduates from high school. Oddly enough that little bit of math seemed to end all conversations about me having babies at any age.
The key to dealing with people who question your personal choice to be single is to be diplomatic, avoid taking it personally, and make a joke if at all possible. I know it’s a drag, but we all have to get along in this world and at family events. So wait it out or play the numbers game.
And if you want to be undiplomatic and tell people once and for all to stop hassling you about getting married? Write a newspaper column about it.
Gina Bever is a local public relations professional and woman-about-town. She’s known for providing her friends — male and female — with thousands of hours of free therapy and (asked for) relationship advice.
ASK GINA: Send questions about relationships to Gina at malecall@timesfreepress.com.