While shopping at a health food store the other day, a friend and I stumbled upon a section that featured cleanses and detoxes. My friend wanted to try one as a way to help jump-start her healthy-living goals for the new year. I told her I’d done more than one in my years, and though I wasn’t sure if it had had lasting effects, she should give it a whirl. Many people seemed to really benefit from them.
Some of us surely need a cleanse this year, but more of the emotional kind. If you’re like me, just because the clock struck midnight on New Year’s morning, life didn’t automatically reset itself. We still have some of the same struggles from the past, wishes yet to be fulfilled, dreams still to be pursued. What we may need to really turn the corner of change, however, is to let go of some old things in order to make room for the newness a new year so monumentally symbolizes.
Here are a few ideas:
* Cleanse yourself of fear that paralyzes. Fear is often the silent stumbling block that prevents us from taking much needed risks. There are risks that really don’t cost much. We are afraid of this type only because we simply dislike the possibility of failing. The fear of failure, when allowed to fester and grow, can be a deterrent to success. Not trying will cost you more frustration, feelings of persecution and feelings of failure anyway. You may as well push this block to the side and see what happens. You can be proud of yourself for that small step of progress.
* Cleanse yourself of mental and physical clutter, which promotes anxiety. Pace yourself for success. Doing one thing a day will help you accomplish seven things by the end of just one week.
* Cleanse yourself of toxic people in your inner circle with an energy of positive regard. I had a talk with a woman the other day about just such a relationship. Even when she attempted kindness with this person, it was used against her, often harshly. She had come to the logical conclusion that distance was the only safe stance, but she took her position with freedom and thoughtful resignation, not pain or anger. She would have continued in kindness had it been safe for her, but it wasn’t. It’s important to know who should be close to us and who should not, but doing so with negative energy only keeps the poison in. We must learn to let them go in peace and goodwill.
* Cleanse yourself of a lifestyle you can no longer manage. When I was younger, I loved the feeling of constant motion. I traveled, spent time with friends, studied, exercised and worked with gusto. As I’ve gotten up in years, though, I’ve realized I need much more quiet times to feel sane. It’s a slightly different life, but one I can better handle.
* Cleanse yourself of excuses. Oh, how I hate this cleanse. I really love my excuses. They help me wriggle out of responsibility for so many things. But if I am to make progress, I’ve got to change my language of explaining why so many things haven’t worked, can’t work, will never work, to a solution-focused curiosity about what needs to occur to create synergistic change.
Happy detoxing!
Tabi Upton, MA-lpc, is a therapist at CBI-Richmont Counseling Center and founder of www.chattanoogacounselor.com, an online self-help resource site. Email her at tabiupton@bellsouth.net.