Author Jeanne Phillips, the daughter of the original advice columnist Dear Abby, poses for a photo in Los Angeles, Friday, Oct. 5, 2007.DEAR ABBY: My cousin “Opal” and I grew up together. We were always close. She has gone through some rough times, and I have been trying to help her out.
She has five children (ages 10 to 2) and I have one child who is 13. The fathers of her children are not helpful. I recently completed my education and am looking for work, so money is tight.
Opal doesn’t feed her kids before bringing them over or provide diapers. She promises to reimburse me but rarely does. I usually keep my mouth shut because I know she doesn’t make much as a server. How can I make her understand that even though I have only one child that doesn’t mean I have the money to help her out with her five?
Also, when I baby-sit her children, they are rowdy and destructive. But if I try to raise the subject, it creates tension between us.
I love Opal. I want to help her, but when is it enough? – CARING COUSIN IN MISSOURI