Mark KennedyAdd soccer to the culture wars.
Soccer may not yet be up there with gay marriage and the Confederate flag controversies, but it’s getting closer.
I was listening to ESPN Radio the other day and one of the hosts observed that soccer tends to be more popular in blue states – such as Oregon – and less popular in red states – such as Mississippi. The commentator’s theory is that people in red states hate change, and that soccer’s rising popularity represents a culture shift that makes them uncomfortable.
Maybe.
But I think it’s a debate framed less by politics and geography and more by age.
Over the Independence Day weekend, my family attended a soccer game in Nashville between the United States men’s national team and Guatemala. The game drew more than 44,000 fans to Nissan Stadium where the NFL’s Tennessee Titans play. That’s more people than turned out to see the U.S. men play in California in February or in soccer-obsessed Germany in June.
Most of the ticket holders in Nashville were parents with young children and small groups of young adults. Among the young adults were several hundred “American Outlaws,” members of the unofficial fan club of the U.S. national teams that claims 174 chapters around the country.
The Outlaws are against “the wave” cheer, which one member of the fan club reminds us on Twitter “is very 90s.” In Nashville, the the Outlaws folded their arms and let the wave spill over their section, as if to say, “We don’t do that.” To be fair, NASCAR fans don’t hop up and down chanting “I-believe-that-we-will-win” at Talladega, either.
Lately, I’ve been immersed in soccer. Both of my sons are practicing with their soccer travel teams this summer, and we’ve got tickets for the World Cup-winning U.S. women’s team game here against Costa Rica next month. And we were regulars at Chattanooga FC games this summer, which routinely attracted several thousand fans to Finley Stadium.
Last month, while watching the NBA finals on television, my younger son complained that the refs weren’t whistling the Golden State Warriors for off-sides violations. That’s a soccer boy.
I’ve thought about how they could make soccer more appealing to mainstream American sports fans. Here are six ideas:
* Schedule more time outs. While one of the endearing things about soccer is its nonstop action – the clock stops for nothing – I think one time out per side per half would be an improvement. Old guys like me can’t go 45 minutes between restroom visits and if you take your eyes off the action for 60 seconds, you might miss a whole game’s worth of scoring. Also, network television is never going to fully embrace soccer unless it has more built-in commercial breaks.
* Stop the flopping. The biggest turn off to Americans is the constant begging for foul calls by players who fall down and fake injuries. Americans don’t like beggars or hypochondriacs. When you see a player writhing in pain one second then streaking down field the next, it makes the sport feel dishonest.
* Put more officials on the field. In a soccer game, two of the three officials are so busy looking for offsides violations, they rarely get involved with on-field fouls. That leaves one official to run the whole field. Imagine a Super Bowl with one referee trying to cover all the action from backfield to end zone.
* Stop calling the field a “pitch.” Americans don’t like European affectations – especially silly ones like this. Also, nix the world “nil.” Americans say “zero,” or more commonly, “nothin’.” Also, please rethink calling your exhibition games “friendlies.” We Americans like a little more edge in our competitions. “Friendly death match” would be better.
* Don’t end tie games with penalty kicks. It’s like deciding the NBA finals with a free-throw shooting contest. After 90 minutes, go to a sudden death period and play 3-on-3.
* Rethink the whole offsides thing. I know the whole architecture of soccer is built on the notion that attacking players can’t “cherry-pick” behind enemy lines. Still, I say allow offsides, shrink the size of the goal and enjoy games that end 15-14 like lacrosse instead of 1-0 like soccer.
* And last but not least, here’s a piece of advice for the American Outlaws: Please don’t wrap yourself in an American flag on Independence Day and look down your noses at your fellow countrymen who want to enjoy doing “the wave.” Especially when you come down South. You’ll find us to be jovial, hospitable people down here in Dixie – until we’re not. Quick tempers (of the Scotch-Irish variety) are one European affectation we haven’t been able to shake.
Contact Mark Kennedy at mkennedy@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6645. Follow him on Twitter @TFPCOLUMNIST. Subscribe to his Facebook updates at www.facebook.com/mkennedycolumnist.