We adults are too often exposed to expectations of perfection and wellness. In our movies and magazines, we are subjected to unreasonable images of endless beauty, eternal youth, professional success, athletic prowess and a pharmaceutical remedy for every ailment.
The entertainment, diet, cosmetic, plastic surgery, drug and advertising industries earn billions of dollars selling us images that we cannot match. Expectations often exceed possibility – unreasonable images of men and women we are expected to reflect and fail to do so.
Tom Tozer and Bill Black pose for a portrait Monday, March 28, 2016 at the Chattanooga Times Free Press.We can fall into this expectation trap with our children. It’s easy to stare into the compelling eyes of a new baby and think, “Ah, perfect!” As captivating, faultless and filled with limitless possibility as that child is, the adorable bundle, just like the rest of us, is imperfect.
It may be hard to think of your baby in these terms. Yet expecting our children to be perfect can create enormous stress on both parent and child, with measurable consequences into the future. Too often children suffer from the pressure of perfection, the call to match the unrealistic images projected upon them. Likewise, parents may push too hard. In both cases, the outcome can be hurtful, even damaging.
We certainly want our kids to work hard, succeed, and be strong, capable, caring, upstanding individuals. But we also think it is important to prepare them for a life that will consist of struggle as well as joy, challenge as well as success, disappointment as well as victory. We all know life is not a string of successes, an endless list of “wins.” We are all familiar with loss, disappointment, and detours along the road. The success of our children is more assured when they have a realistic grasp of what is important, an understanding of their capabilities, and an awareness of and preparation for the various trials that life will present.