DEAR ABBY: It has been eight years since my first love, “Oliver,” and I broke up. It was amicable and we both had closure. I have been in my current relationship for six years. We love each other very much and have two beautiful kids together.
I don’t often think about Oliver and we haven’t spoken since our split. But the crazy thing is, I dream about him constantly. The dreams are pretty tame and they don’t make sense. I don’t understand why this is happening. I know myself, and I know I don’t miss Oliver. I’m happy in my current relationship. So what gives, Abby? – TROUBLED OUT WEST
DEAR TROUBLED: I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. I was taught years ago that the things we see in our dreams are manifestations of our subconscious and are not meant to be taken literally. What you are dreaming about may not actually be Oliver at all, but something he symbolizes. Perhaps it’s freedom, or youth – who knows? But if the dreams persist and they bother you, I’m sure a couple of sessions with a licensed mental health professional would ease your mind.
DEAR ABBY: I have a hard time differentiating between enabling and just helping out my sister. Throughout her adult life, even while she was married, she has never been able to make ends meet.
She’s single now and in her 50s, a hardworking but underemployed, depressed individual. I have a good job and I feel guilty if I don’t help her each month. (She doesn’t ask, but drops enough hints that I know things aren’t going well.)