Punchlines

Late Night Laughs

Keeping Up With the Candidates* Indiana is holding its primary tomorrow, and Donald Trump is currently leading Ted Cruz by 15 points. While John Kasich still holds a narrow lead over “Not Sure.” — Seth Meyers* Bernie Sanders said yesterday that he intends to do everything that he can to prevent a Donald Trump presidency. Though I don’t know what he can try that Donald Trump hasn’t tried already. — Seth Meyers* I saw that former presidents George W. Bush and George H.W. Bush announced that they will not endorse anyone in the 2016 presidential race. Even crazier, they said that before Jeb dropped out. — Jimmy Fallon* Syfy just revealed a poster for the next “Sharknado” movie that will air in July, and it will feature Dog the Bounty Hunter, Wayne Newton, Dr. Drew and Motley Crue singer Vince Neil. Which will also be the same people that will be in Donald Trump’s cabinet if he gets elected. — Jimmy Fallon* Despite falling behind in delegates, Bernie Sanders insists he still has nine states left to go. Unfortunately, five of those states are Denial, Anger, Grief, Bargaining and Acceptance. — Conan O’BrienSource: www.newsmax.com