DEAR ABBY: I am 32, married for a year and a half, with no children. I am an only child, raised by my mother until I was 14 because my father was in prison. My mother never remarried and blames me for never having found anyone. She doesn’t get along with family, co-workers or “friends.” She thinks my husband is her handyman. My husband works all the time, and when he does have free time, I want to spend it with him or need him to do things around our home. I’m afraid the day I tell her I’m pregnant, her response will be laced with judgment, and I believe she will use my children as pawns like she used me to manipulate my dad. I have seen a therapist, but I’m having a hard time following through. My therapist suggests I tell Mom how I feel, and if she continues with her current behavior, to limit the amount of time we see each other. Abby, she has said some really hurtful things to me in the past, but I am trying to be the daughter I am supposed to be so we can have the relationship we are supposed to have. I welcome your advice. – HAD ENOUGH IN GEORGIA
DEAR HAD ENOUGH: You hired a therapist who has given you excellent advice. You will save yourself a lot of grief if you follow the advice you were given.
To create boundaries is not being a bad daughter; it is being an intelligent one
DEAR ABBY: I’m currently interning with a government-contracted group. Part of my job involves working with LGBT rights organizations. Recently, at a meeting with my boss and several representatives of these organizations, the topic of fairness in the workplace was mentioned. I was asked what my experience was, and I shared that I thought the workplace was fair, and my experience was fine.
I didn’t think about it at the time, but I now realize I was being asked how my experience was as an LGBT person. In light of this, my boss has nominated me for a diversity award. The problem is I’m a heterosexual female, and I think he promoted me for the honor because he thinks I am gay.