I was in my late 20s and Jay was 30 when we decided to get married. Both of us are children of divorce. I also had a lot of debt from putting myself through college.
I loved Jay and totally thought he was “the one,” but I would be lying if I told you I didn’t have some anxiety about what might happen to us in the future. I had heard the statistics about the chances of divorce and felt like we were entering into marriage with the odds stacked against us in some ways.
At the time, I worked in mental health care. I remember asking one of my colleagues if he would consider doing some premarital work with us. With eyebrows raised, he said, “What for? Are you having problems already?”
Even Jay looked at me quizzically when I mentioned that we should sit down with someone who could help us really be prepared for the journey.
I didn’t know it then but, though we had risk factors for divorce, we actually had a lot more going for us than against us.