Jeanne PhillipsDEAR ABBY: My friend decided she can no longer tolerate my husband. She feels he doesn’t “respect” her. This is far from the truth. We have supported her emotionally and financially from time to time for many years. My husband does make clunky jokes (anything for a laugh). But a real friend should see beyond that to the loving, supportive person he is at his core and forgive. We are banned from her social group. I find this very harsh – cruel even. My friendship doesn’t count, as I’m being thrown out with the perceived trash as well. I’m depressed and angry, and I want some kind of revenge and to hurt her back. I was so happy with our little group. Now it’s been taken away from me. Advice? – TOSSED ASIDE IN NEW YORK
DEAR TOSSED: Yes. Rather than seek revenge, tell the woman how hurt you feel after having befriended her all these years. Time is our most precious commodity. The more time you spend plotting retaliation, the more space this ungrateful woman is taking up in your head, and it’s not healthy – for you.
Once you have spoken to her and gotten this off your chest, go on with your life. Continue to see others in the group on an individual basis, if necessary. If they are real friends, I’m sure they’ll be glad to do that.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 34-year-old single mother (by choice) of a beautiful 3-year-old boy. Because of infertility problems, it took years for me to conceive. I love my son beyond measure and, when I’m not working, I’m usually shuttling him to extracurricular activities and making time after cooking and cleaning to play with him.
Because my world revolves around being a mom, I have a hard time participating in adult conversations without talking about my son and how proud and happy I am to be his mom. I realize this can be irritating to others, and it has become frustrating for me.