Jeanne PhillipsDEAR ABBY: I’m a single woman who has always wanted children. As much as I would’ve liked, marriage isn’t in the cards for me yet and maybe not ever, which I’ve accepted.
I have decided to not allow my single status to prevent me from becoming a mother. I have spent years hearing my friends and family tell me how great being a parent is and how I’m missing out. After careful consideration, I chose to utilize donor sperm.
I am now 40 and expecting my first child, and I couldn’t be happier. The only thing I find upsetting is that those same friends who spent years telling me how great motherhood is and asking when I would have children, now speak of nothing but the tribulations of motherhood – the pain of delivery, the fatigue, the expense, and how they couldn’t do it alone, etc.
I’m an educated woman in a profession that pays well, and I consider myself to be fortunate. I didn’t decide to become a single mother on a whim. I don’t know what to expect but want to think positive and enjoy my pregnancy. I’m confused and hurt by my friends’ reactions now that I am pregnant. Is it the pregnancy hormones, or do I need to distance myself from these friends? – CONFOUNDED IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR CONFOUNDED: Parenting involves many emotions – some of them conflicting. It’s a joy, an adventure, a challenge and a commitment. The experience is also an individual one.