DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have experienced a serious disconnect since the COVID-19 outbreak. I have very little interest in him and ZERO desire when it comes to sex. We have two small children at home, so Mommy/Daddy time is now nonexistent.
We haven’t left our home in five months and I’m beyond frustrated. I know he wants to keep us safe, but when I see pictures online and hear about my friends and family still going out – living their lives – it makes me depressed, anxious and to be honest, grumpy! He says he loves me, but he has started to resemble a Neanderthal. He doesn’t shower regularly and doesn’t shave for weeks on end.
I can’t remember the last time I put on makeup, jewelry, perfume or even a cute outfit. Frumpy isn’t a word I would use to describe myself, but it’s how I feel and how I’m looking these days. He says my lack of desire is confusing, so now I feel attacked and inadequate and like I’m letting him down.
I love him, I do! But, right now I’m just not feeling it. I miss the days when I felt special, loved, admired and appreciated. Now it’s nothing more than laundry, cleaning, picking up messes, home-schooling and asking what they want to eat next. Did I mention dishes? It’s time, Abby. I need to get my groove back! Any suggestions? – MARRIED TO A NEANDERTHAL
DEAR MARRIED: It’s time to clear the air. Tell your husband what you have told me – starting with the fact that you feel depressed, anxious, trapped, out of sorts and he now resembles a Neanderthal. (It may make him feel less “confused.”) If you have been doing all the chores alone, it is important that he pitch in.