DEAR ABBY: I’ve been separated from my wife for about four years, at her request. It was justified. I wasn’t the best husband. I wasn’t abusive, but I was sad and feeling sorry for myself, like now.
I took her for granted and didn’t show her the affection she deserved, but I have been going to therapy to work through issues that I had suppressed for decades that contributed to me being a bad husband. I wanted to try counseling with her, but she was done and refused, which I’m still saddened by.
As of today, she has a new boyfriend but still hasn’t filed for divorce. I’m struggling because she and her new boyfriend hang out with people I grew up with. It’s my own hang-up, I know, but it makes me feel embarrassed and like I can never hang out with my friends again. I get upset when I see posts on Facebook with her and her boyfriend that my family have added heart emojis or nice comments to.
Am I wrong for feeling betrayed in some way? Is my estranged wife belittling me by not filing for divorce and hanging out with my friends and a new boyfriend? Are my friends and family betraying me by being friends with them? – BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR
DEAR BROKEN: Marriages end for many reasons. If I read your letter correctly, your wife left because she could no longer cope with someone who was in a chronic state of depression, not because you were a “bad husband” or had some flaw in your character.