DEAR ABBY: I had an affair with “Harold,” a man I was helping. He’s 76; I am 52. His wife stays in Florida for extended periods of time. For 34 years I have been married to a man who quit having sex with me because I stopped taking the pill. “Harold” provided me with the attention I needed.
I finally confessed to my husband after I was caught in too many lies. My husband has forgiven me, but I can no longer be friends with Harold or help him anymore. I’m worried about him living alone and needing help. Can I still help him if I have ended the affair? – WORRIED ABOUT EX-LOVER
DEAR WORRIED: No, not if you value your marriage to the man who has denied you a sex life for the last 34 years. Surely you both must have known there are/were successful methods of birth control besides the pill. IS this what you want for the rest of your life?
Because the physical aspect of your affair with Harold has ended, there is still an emotional tie that needs to be severed. You won’t be able to do this while you are taking care of him. Harold should be told he needs another caregiver, and you need to find a way to satisfy or sublimate your sex drive, because this problem isn’t going to go away.
DEAR ABBY: My mom passed away a year ago, and I struggle with it every day. I had promised her I would never put her in any kind of home, but she ended up in one because the hospital placed her there. I feel so guilty for letting her down.