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Thursday, October 29, 2026Oct 29

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Dear Abby: Couple struggles with elderly cat’s declining health

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DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been together 39 years, and we generally get along very well. We’ve always had dogs and cats, and we currently have two of each. While my wife loves all animals, I’m a dog person. I don’t dislike cats, but I don’t really care for them. The cats and I tend to ignore each other.

We have one who’s 20 years old. While he doesn’t appear to be in any pain, I suspect he has dementia. He has poor balance. He stumbles into walls and cabinets and has fallen down the stairs a number of times. Recently, he has been peeing in my den and garage. That, I can’t ignore.

I think it’s time to put the cat down. My wife is calling me cold and heartless. I think when I’ve lost my mind enough to pee in my den or garage, I hope someone will be compassionate enough to help me go. I’m starting to hate that cat. – FAVORS DOGS IN EL PASO

DEAR FAVORS DOGS: That poor animal should be examined by a veterinarian to determine why he is stumbling and falling, and whether the problem can be remedied. (The elderly dog of a friend of mine kept running into things and ultimately had successful cataract surgery.) As to the cat’s inappropriate choice of a place to relieve himself, the problem may be as simple as a curable bladder infection – unless he has picked up on the fact that you would like to see him dead and is doing it to get back at you.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, “Tom,” and I just spent the weekend with his older brother, “George.” George spent most of the weekend mocking and mimicking me, and he even made fun of my chronic health condition. Tom kept telling me not to be so sensitive and to ignore George’s sense of humor. Afterward, I told Tom I wouldn’t remain silent in the future, and I wished he had said something like, “That’s enough, George,” on my behalf.