DEAR ABBY: We recently found out my 19-year-old daughter is pregnant. This is her first boyfriend, and she is absolutely smitten with him. He has asked her to marry him, and we are excited and happy for her, but there is one thing we are having a hard time with: I am almost certain he is cheating on her.
They live with us, so I can see the signs — he says he’s working late, and several times even told her he had to work all night. He’s always on his phone, and he never allows her to see it. He keeps it on silent and face down. When he gets a text message (which is often), he immediately says he has to go to the bathroom. Then he stays in there for about a half-hour.
I’ve tried talking to her about what I’m seeing, but she gets mad at me. She says she trusts him and insists he would never cheat on her. It’s painful to watch this happening to her, and I don’t know how to handle it. Should I continue bringing it up or let her find out on her own? — KNOWS ALL TOO WELL
DEAR KNOWS: You have already brought it up. Your daughter should not rush into marriage just because she is pregnant, if that’s her intention. Because her boyfriend is living with you, he’s likely not mature or financially stable enough to be married to anyone. (What do his parents think about this?)
I was tempted to advise you to hire a private investigator, but I’m not sure you need to go to that expense. The truth will eventually reveal itself. In the meantime, give your daughter plenty of emotional support because she is going to need it.