DEAR ABBY: Years ago, my child was sexually abused by a relative. After I found out, I reported it, which made the abuser’s family very upset. Charges were filed, and there were court dates, probation and counseling. To date, everything the judge required of the abuser has been legally fulfilled.
The extended family wants to have large gatherings like were held in the past, and they are so happy we can all be together again. Is it bad that I still don’t want my child and other children around the abuser?
It bothers me that everyone is celebrating the return of this pedophile and disregarding my child’s feelings as if nothing ever happened. Am I wrong to feel this way? — SHELL-SHOCKED MOTHER IN COLORADO
DEAR SHELL- SHOCKED: You are not wrong. You are a loving, caring, vigilant and protective mother. The best way to handle this would be to forgo family gatherings at which the abuser will be present. A victim of sexual abuse should not be required to ever be in that person’s presence again.
DEAR ABBY: This may seem strange to complain about because most people would love to get flowers. My boyfriend of three years sends a dozen red roses every couple of months to my workplace. It’s not related to a birthday or anniversary. It’s “just because.”