Let’s handle our business.
Rushmore of contact hitters from the past 50 years — Tony Gwynn, Ichiro, Rod Carew and Wade Boggs. Side note: I know they did not have middle relievers throwing 97 with, as Crash said, ungodly breaking stuff like exploding sliders back in the day, but how’s this for contact: Joe Sewell had 7,132 at-bats in his Hall of Fame career and struck out 114 times. Total. Matt Olson has whiffed 92 times in 263 ABs this season.
Rushmore of boy — This is with all apologies to “How big a boy are you?” and Roy D. Mercer. (Side note: Man the cellphone and access to incoming numbers has made crank calling a dinosaur, no? Also, how crazy is the story that of all the people on the planet, do you care to guess who is the biggest Jerky Boys fan around? Yep, Bill Belichick loves their crank calls, which is surreal. Heck, picturing Bill Belichick laughing in general is kind of weird. Bill Belichcik busting a gut at the Jerky Boys is doubly so.) “Boyz in the Hood” (both the movie and the classic rap song from NWA), Shoney’s Big Boy, Fat Boys (not the rap group, the all-time great restaurant in Smyrna — trust me on this) and of course “Tommy Boy,” which was robbed of an Oscar in 1996 when some movie called “Braveheart” won. What a shame.
Rushmore of sitcoms centered around stand-up comedians and their routines — “Seinfeld,” “Home Improvement,” “Roseanne” and “The Cosby Show,” which was great despite Bill’s many sins. I feel bad not including “Sanford and Son” or “Mork and Mindy” here, but the list is the list.
Rushmore of movie characters with the name of a state — Indiana Jones, Tony Montana, Nathan Arizona, Johnny Utah, with a visor tip to TV’s Florida Evans of “Good Times” fame.
To the bag.
From Bob
You must not be much of a golfer if you think you couldn’t break 100 at the US Open at LACC!
That would be almost 40 shots worse than what Rickie shot (Thursday)!
But go ahead and tell us about how many great courses you have got to play!
Bob,
Thanks for reading, and I was 100% wrong about thinking the Los Angeles Country Club was going to be a monster. Those guys destroyed it in round 1, with Rickie Fowler and Xander Schauffle each posting a U.S. Open-record 62.
Wow.
That said, I’m not wrong about even good golfers struggling to break 100 there with those conditions. And you can believe that — especially when the rough is so deep that Rory Bleepin’ McIlroy swung and missed at his ball on Thursday.
Read that last sentence again.
And golf is a lot of things. First, it is right there with slow-pitch softball in being the sports epitome of the “Never judging a book by its cover” cliché. A dude could be 82, show up in jorts and hit it 120 yards off the tee and will whip the logo off your golf shirt because he makes everything he looks at from 15 feet and in.
Golf also is part of the pantheon of “caught a fish this big” sports stretches/lies out there.
Almost no one you know averages 300 yards off the tee, unless you know any of the Baylor alums with PGA cards. Just trust me on this. Sure, there are a lot of folks who have hit a 300-yard drive. I am pretty sure I have hit a couple that far. But averaging 3 bills — and the PGA averages only drives that are in the fairway — with the big stick is a completely different statement. According to the analytics folks that crunched the numbers only 1.1% of all golfers average even 280 off the tee. So there’s that.
Almost no one you know runs a real 4.4, No one. I’m pretty sure the fastest person you have ever played with or against was barely cracking 4.6. Gang, Emmitt Smith ran in the 4.6s. So did Mark Ingram I think. That is still really fast. Unless you watched Ladd McConkey or Jahmyr Gibbs play high school ball in North Georgia, I doubt you have seen someone crack the 4.5s to be honest.
Everyone has seen someone throw in the 90s, right? Wrong. This one is more common than the above two, granted, but not as common as we are led to believe. Legit 90 mph-plus fastballs do not need a radar gun, which are easily manipulated believe it or not. You can hear 90-plus when you are really around it. Again, high school pitchers throwing mid to upper 80s are awesome, but I’d guess way more than half the times “90-plus” gets bounced around, it’s false.
Also, have I mentioned lately that I’ve played Augusta National. Twice in fact.
From John
Take it easy on the nation’s 46th president, would you? Maybe he needed his nap that day…
Only a fraud, liar and coward like Donald Trump could turn Joe Biden into a winner. Big elections aren’t won: One guy finds a way to lose. And do Sens. Hagerty and Blackburn have an ounce of sense between them?? Spending all their time portraying Donald Trump as a victim?? They’ll be around in D.C. for years if they want. What do they need Donald Trump for anymore?
It’s amazing to me the number of people I know who are smart, accomplished and respected in their communities who can’t fathom how Trump lost. All they had to do was trot out someone to beat Joe Pepsodent. Republicans have no one to blame but themselves.
John,
Hard not to agree with you here.
And if (or when) Trump gets the GOP nomination, it locks down another four years of Biden, in my opinion.
I think an interesting question is who could the Democrats nominate that would NOT beat Trump? Other than Hillary Clinton, of course, because like you said, she lost that election more than Trump won it.
Who wins between Trump and Kamala Harris, for example?
Thoughts?
From JoeDon
JG:
Did you know that by making the Men’s College World Series, the Tennessee Vols are the only school to be in the 2023 Men’s and Women’s College World Series, the 2023 Men’s and Women’s Basketball Sweet 16 and finish in the Top 10 in last season’s NCAA football rankings?
And … From the nobody-saw-this-coming department: As the 41st pick in the 2014 NBA draft, Nikola Jokic is the lowest drafted player in NBA history to be named Finals MVP and the first player drafted outside of the top 15 to win the award.
Any basketball scout that claims “Oh, I knew he was something special” is full of hoo-ha.
JoeDon,
I knew UT had a great sports calendar going, but that first sentence is pretty impressive.
Even to Doug, who hates everything orange.
I hope Holly gets the Lady Vols back to national prominence, and I think Sweet 16 is the ceiling for Rick Barnes in Knoxville.
But Josh Heupel and Tony Vitello are bona fide stars in their respective coaching fields.
From Brent
Jay, my friend and me were talking about the best sports movie announcers (Tuesday) and we decided you would be the best person to settle this.
Who was the best announcer — Uecker in “Major League” or the old radio guy in “Bull Durham”?
Thanks and love your writing.
Brent,
Not sure whether this next sentence is a compliment or a career lament, but I am pretty sure I may be the very best person on the planet to answer this question.
Yay. And sadness.
Bob Uecker’s Harry Doyle in “Major League” is far superior, but he’s written to be that way. The guy in “Bull Durham” is all-time great for what he is, but Harry Doyle is a star, and he’s the only redeeming part of the third “Major League” film.
But we’d also be remiss here if we did not mention the greatness that was Cotton and Pepper courtside in “Dodgeball.”
As far as tandems go, they are the best.
Thanks for the question, and enjoy the weekend, friends.