DEAR ABBY: Several members of my husband’s family let us down badly by not attending our daughter’s wedding. They had various work and other family obligations near the date of our event. “Save the Date” cards had been sent out six months prior, but we were apparently lower on their priority list. I expressed to my husband my desire to not send holiday cards this year because I no longer feel good about these family members.
Then, while I was traveling for work, he bought cards, printed a letter with pictures, signed it from both of us and sent it to most of his family and some of our mutual friends. The first I heard about it was from a friend thanking me for the card and pictures a month later. I discussed it with my husband and got an apology, but I’m still shocked and saddened. What do you think? — STILL MIFFED
DEAR STILL MIFFED: Although you didn’t want to send holiday cards to the relatives who skipped your daughter’s wedding, apparently your husband didn’t feel the same way. He was entitled to do what he did. Repeat after me: A wedding invitation is not a command performance. Now let it go.
DEAR ABBY: I’m estranged from my nephew and feel bad that our relationship has deteriorated. We live in different states. He has a mental illness and refuses treatment.
As a professional who is respected at work and at home, I am distressed that my nephew is aggressive and demeaning to me in public and in private. How can I get onto a path of reconciliation, and how does one know when self-protection is the only reasonable action? — SAD UNCLE IN FLORIDA