5-at-10: Kelce’s media stardom, Iditarod rules, far from Super Tuesday, is Shaq on the SEC hoops Rushmore

Philadelphia Eagles' Jason Kelce speaks during an NFL football press conference announcing his retirement in Philadelphia, Monday, March 4, 2024. (AP Photo/Matt Rourke)
Philadelphia Eagles' Jason Kelce speaks during an NFL football press conference announcing his retirement in Philadelphia, Monday, March 4, 2024. (AP Photo/Matt Rourke)

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Goodbye, hello

We mentioned the Jason Kelce retirement when it happened earlier this week. He was a bona fide dude — six-time first-team All-Pro in a 13-year career is some awesome sauce.

He and his brother Travis, who has gained some notoriety for being arguably the best tight end ever and for dating arguably the biggest pop star ever, were courtside for the Cavs' rally to topple Boston.

Yes, this is a sports landing spot for all of us at 10 a.m. Yes, regular-season NBA matters to some of y'all.

But seeing the Kelces made me ponder. Yes, Spy, that is a dangerous thing.

Jason Kelce made more than $80 million putting his hand in the dirt and having a grown man put his hands on his buttocks for the last 13 years. He was great. He will get a gold jacket and have his 15 minutes of tears in Canton in five years.

But here's the next thing. Jason Kelce is part of the next line of sports superstars who have perfectly patrolled the perimeter.

Jason Kelce will make at least as much as he did playing football talking about football over the next decade-plus.

He's one of those dudes. Like Chuck Barkley and Dale Jr. and so many others.

Heck, if you are a sports agent these days — cue Jerry McGuire — why would you not be trying to cultivate the interviewing, conversation and personal skills of your your stars?

Jason Kelce, goodbye. You were great.

Jason Kelce, hello. You will be great in sports media.

Sports rules

OK, I am pretty well-informed on the rules of sports.

I have coached almost all of them. Yeah, Spy, hockey is not part of the conversation since I never expected to live this far North in the greater Chattanooga area.

And yes, Intern Scott, the rule of soccer — HANDBALL! — is the only one that matters.

Regardless. Or as my father — Pop 5-at-10 — would have said "irregardlessly," which was not a word, but no one said a word because Pop was Pop.

Suffice it to say I know the rules — very well, in fact — of almost every sport. Yes, soccer and hockey, too.

Hey look, someone was offside and made the game less fun.

But man, how about this story from the Iditarod?

So a musher in this year's Iditarod saw, confronted, shot and killed an angry moose. Yes, you read that correctly.

And no, I'm not sure what makes a moose angry, but I know chocolate mousse makes me happy.

Irregardlessly, said sledder shot and killed Bullwinkle, and here's the money quote from the above linked story.

The rule states that "in the event that an edible big game animal, i.e., moose, caribou, buffalo, is killed in defense of life or property, the musher must gut the animal and report the incident to a race official at the next checkpoint."

Dude, that is some boss sauce, no?

Is there any translation into other "sports" that would be even close to applicable?

Visor tip, good musher. May your dogs and your journey be blessed.

(Side question: Plural of moose is moose, but shouldn't it be meese? Discuss.)

A far from Super Tuesday

Man, the results were overwhelming from Super Tuesday.

They were not unexpected of course, but they were over the top.

I voted Republican here in Tennessee. I assuredly did not vote for Donald Trump, although I would like for America to be great again.

(No, he can't get us there, but yes, that is an amazing marketing slogan.)

I was happy with the way some of the local elections played out.

And man, when I saw a headline with Adam Schiff and Steve Garvey — the politician with the same name as my favorite lawyer from "Law & Order" as well as my first favorite athlete and potentially the father of our country (post 1973) — I thought man, this can be Super Tuesday.

Alas, it is not.

Alas, we are in a place that it is going to be Biden-Trump 2.0, and that makes my stomach hurt.

Heck, the biggest winner from Super Tuesday was Joe Biden, because I believe in my bones that the only true GOP nominee he and Kamala could beat is Donald Trump.

How did we get here?

Hope you enjoy your 14 private jets, Rubert Murdoch.

This is how crazy this Super Tuesday was:

Ladies and gentlemen, here's a link to today's Clay Bennett cartoon, and while Clay is a truly kind man, he and I agree on political topics like we we're oil and water. But today's was spot on. Well done, Clay.

This and that

— Friends, the Mrs. 5-at-10 will be at Photo Night tonight on the UTC campus. Her work is breathtaking and her talent is truly God-given and cultivated with an unyielding work ethic. Her presentation tonight is truly spectacular. Know this: I have watched it three times. I cried three times. So, so proud of her.

This story that includes quotes from Nick Saban about his final days at Alabama are kind of eye-popping. Anyone buying stock in the Kalen DeBoer era in T-Town?

— So Jon Rahm is parroting the LIV narrative. Shocker. Whatever. Big picture, and we may discuss this more tomorrow, can professional golf save itself?

Today's questions

So which way Wednesday starts this way:

Which current professional athlete (remember Jason Kelce is off the board) will be the most coveted media personality? (Side note: Chattanooga's Keith Mitchell is going to be a golf commentating superstar.)

Which way would you describe your mood after anything-but-Super Tuesday?

Which would be easier, pushing the Target red button or scoring 80 on that Alabama defense?

Speaking of 'Bama, considering the comment from the Dark Lord, which was you leaning for the Tide in 2024, over 8 wins or under?

You know the drill.

As for today, March, 6, let's review.

Shaq is 52 today.

Would he make the Rushmore of all-time SEC basketball players?

Yes, Chas will think "there are like 15 UK players ahead of him" and yeah, but no. Shaq was the Beatles in short pants when he was in Red Stick.

We know Pistol Pete has one spot, who gets the rest, and maybe it's not Shaq, but this will be a fun chat.

Go and hug those you love today.

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