Let’s handle our Rushmore business from the week.
Rushmore of “prayer: — Lord’s Prayer, Prayer in Jordan-Hare, “Livin’ on a Prayer” and the Serenity Prayer, which I believe was created by Frank Costanza and perfect by Lloyd Braun.
Rushmore of best opening lines in a novel — “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” from a “Tale of Two Cities;” “Call me Ishmael,” from “Moby Dick;” “We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold,” from “Fear and Loathing in Lasa Vegas;” “It was a bright cold day in April and the clocks were striking thirteen,” from “1984.” (But maybe my personal fav because of my love for the book is, “Amerigo Bonasera set in New York Criminal Court Number 3 and waited for justice; vengeance on the men who had so cruelly hurt his daughter, who had tried to dishonor her.” He later went to Vito Corleone to find justice for her.)
Rushmore of non-Batman characters in the Batman movies over the last 40 years — Both Jokers (Nicholson and Ledger), Gary Oldman Commissioner Gordon (Side note: Oldman may be the most underrated actor of his generation; name something he was in that he did not make better, and the range is Steph + Caitlin deep), Michael Caine’s Alfred narrowly over Liam Neeson’s Ra’s al Ghul.
Rushmore of female pop singles — “I Will Always Love You,” Whitney; “Like a Virgin,” Madonna; “I Will Survive” Gloria Gaynor; and insert any/all Taylor Swift songs here.
To the bag.
From MocsColts
Jay, Please give me your thoughts on My Colts draft class? I was VERY pleased with rounds 1 and 2.
MC,
It’s very hard for me to say anything negative about what GM Chris Ballard did over three days last week.
He added dynamic edge rusher Laiatu Latu at, and the former UCLA star was a player I thought the Falcons would seriously consider at 8. Latu’s health history is a red flag, and I still think Byron Murphy from Texas is going to be that guy we look back on in five years and go, “Wow, everyone whiffed on him.”
Ballard’s brilliance was on display in round 2 when he got a first-round WR talent in Adonai Mitchell from Texas. Mitchell, who had one — yes 1 — drop in 103 targets last year likely will come into camp with the “I’m gonna show everyone” chip on his shoulder and immediately because a great 2 behind Michael Pittman.
The other thing I loved was the way Ballard carpet-bombed picks on positions of need.
Picks 3 and 4 were O-lineman, and the dude from Wisconsin who crushed at the combine may be a Day 1 starter.
The other area the Colts needed address was the secondary, and Ballard used three picks on DBs on Day 3, including Auburn safety Jaylin Simpson, who is a freakish athlete. He was all-state in three sports in high school and was a state champion high jumper. He’s a modern safety that can play in a traditional 4-3 or 3-4 with a normal secondary or can even work as a safety covering a slot receiver.
The Colts crushed it.
As for the opposite of crushing…
From JP
Do you not like Black QBs? Is that why you hated Atlanta picking (Michael) Penix?
Almost all of the ESPN guys who make way more money than you love the pick? I bet you hated Mike Vick, too. Am I right? I wonder why?
JP,
Look, I know, a conservative newspaper columnist becomes an easy target for racial innuendo, so you be you.
It’s tired and simply not true, but keep shooting your shot.
Big picture, as a lifelong Falcons fan — my family had season tickets starting in 1978 — I think the move to get Mike Vick may have been the most aggressive and savviest Falcons draft move of all-time.
It literally saved the Falcons in Atlanta and created an excitement that may not have any draft-day match other than the Costner classic film “Draft Day,” which was jobbed by the Academy in favor of “Birdman” for Best Picture.
The Falcons were flat-lining in the A-T-L at a time that the vultures were circling looking for expansion or relocation.
Vick created a buzz unmatched, and his talent was not only forever unique, in a lot of ways it paved the way for the Lamars and the Josh Allens and the Fields and the Hurts of the modern game.
I hated how Mike’s time in the A-T-L ended, but it always deserves mentioning that one of the few men to ever sign multiple nine-figure NFL contracts made it a point to pay back every fine, every debt and every creditor at the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars after his dog fighting disaster.
I loved Mike Vick. Heck, I loved Ron Mexico (not like that, Spy).
As for the Falcons drafting of Penix, well, you’re kind of right in one way, it does center more than a touch on color.
But that color is green.
There are two ways to win a Super Bowl these days: Have a generational QB you can afford to pay because he’s worth the three other starters you can’t afford or have a superstar youngster on a rookie deal that allows you to pay the folks around him more. (Side note: The Pats won six in 20 years because they had the latter for a short time and the former — who took less to help the cap — the rest of the time. Side question on the side note: Kinda looks like the Chiefs are on the same path, no?)
The Falcons are going to try and use the “Packers did it and look” model, but the Falcons window is now.
While the packers model proved effective, it is the outlier not the patter, and they did not capitalize on the final years of a Canton-bound generational talent like Aaron Rodgers with a title.
From JTC
Heard that NBC has no lead analyst for the upcoming US Open. Who’s gonna get that sweet gig? How about a rumored Tony Romo?
JTC,
The entire NBC broadcasting crew is completely forgettable.
In fact, since Johnny Miller and Sir Nick Faldo left, who is the most impactful golf analyst?
Not the play-by-play voices of a Nantz, Hicks or Tirico, but the analysis guy.
The Romo suggestion is interesting since he would have to leave CBS, but the way he’s been getting crushed with reviews of his recent NFL analysis may have CBS more than happy to let him walk from that $17 million contract.
In truth, here are the only three names I could think of that NBC could add that would truly create an attraction for me to listen to a golf analyst:
First is Chuck Barkley. He’s been great on “The Match” coverage on the Turner networks. I know it make a lot of traditional golf fans livid, but if golf does not embrace a young and different view, traditional golf fans are more likely to be at Alexian than Augusta next spring.
Charlie Rymer. The former local legend is wicked funny and a former PGA player. He would be gold.
Tiger Woods. Enough said. (And yes, Eldrick, it’s getting close to time to put the clubs in the garage.)
From Justin
So the Derby is this weekend and everyone will be discussing mint juleps and big hats.
What is your Rushmore of sports events connected with food or drink, Jay?
Thanks for the 5-at-10 and your picks are whatever the opposite of on fire is right now.
Justin,
My picks are trash. We’ve lost seven straight and have considered going full Costanza — doing the opposite of the instinct — later today.
Derby and the mint julep is there for sure, although I am not a fan of the mint julep. It’s like drinking a bourbon-soaked salad that someone added a crumbled up Andes Candies.
The Masters and the pimento cheese sandwich has to be there, too. And that’s a true treat.
The Indy 500 winner and milk feels right, right?
Finally, I would put strawberries and cream and Wimbledon as the last one, and that is with all apologies to baseball and hot dogs.
And on a somewhat similar note…
From J-Mac
Jay,
Jack Nicklaus (84) said that he played three rounds after the Masters and carded 88, 91 and 92. Anyone that has read the 5@10 or been within 10 feet of you knows that you have played the Masters twice. Did you best that in your two attempts?
I have confidence in Jay’s plays … you will be back.
What do you have on the Derby?
J-Mac,
Are you sure I’ve mentioned that I have had the privilege of playing Augusta National?
Twice?
OK, my two scores were 92 the first round with a double on 1 and a 10 on the par-5 second. My second score — and that time I was playing a fair among of golf and carried a handicap right around 7, which means I shot in the 70s on most normal course — was an 82.
And to be fair, they only allowed us to play the member tees, which is at least 1,000 total yards shorter than the tournament tees we watch the pros play.
All of that is also meaningless, however, because if I played Jack tomorrow — be it Augusta National or Brainerd National — he’d wear me out on sheer intimidation alone.
Man, that would be really cool though, right? To play even a few holes with Jack.
What current non-Tiger golfer — if you had the choice of anyone — would you choose to play nine holes with? (And Spy’s answer is likely DJ just in case Paulina comes to watch because I am certain he feels he could sweet talk her.)
As for the Derby, my picks are so bad right now, I need to do more research.
I’d love to hear BDawg’s answer to that, but I will share later this morning and assuredly in Jay’s Plays.
Have a great weekend friends.