I am leery to write this. I don’t want to be accused of being a hypocrite — or worse, not knowing what I am talking about.
I have told you many times in “Guns & Cornbread” that I don’t consider myself a world-class deer hunter. I enjoy many aspects of hunting whitetail deer: the camaraderie of other hunters, going to deer camp, and putting venison in the freezer. But if you think the only real deer hunters are those who grit it out year after year while sitting in a drafty tree stand and waiting on that monster buck with horns (I know, antlers) like an Irish elk, no, I am not that guy.
I say this because today’s little sermon will be touching on some tips that will help you whether you are on a quest for the aforementioned Godzilla-sized deer, will be happy with any legal buck or are just meat hunting. So this is your humble outdoors scribe offering advice on deer hunting — not about turkey hunting, shotguns, sighting in rifles, or what to do when your hunting dog doesn’t want to listen to you.
(I’m still working on that last one myself.)
Slow down! By this I mean slow down everything.
We live in a world now where being in a rush all the time has become normal. Hurry here, hurry there, trying to do three things at once. None of this translates very well when we get into hunting mode, especially if we are going to try to still-hunt (stalk) deer, or even if you are climbing up into a tree stand.
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I suggest you pause right after you get out of the truck in order to make sure for the third time that you have everything. (Don’t forget the Little Debbie cakes, Vienna sausages, Slim Jims and Skoal.) Then walk about 50 yards, stop and have a talk with yourself. You are telling your busy, hurrying, frazzled self to chill out.
Slow everything down — your breathing, your movements, your steps — as you proceed through the woods. What is your hurry? In all your years of hunting, have you ever chased a deer and caught it? I didn’t think so.
One afternoon with a skilled still-hunter in the woods would teach us volumes. When you finally pick up on how slowly and carefully they move, it will amaze you. A few steps and then stop, look, listen, and then look some more.
They are not really looking for a big deer to just step into the open; a flicker of an ear or a tail, the sound of two steps in the dry leaves — that is what these guys are looking for.
Again, slow down!
Sit still! The ability to sit still in the woods is maybe the most important skill that a hunter can master.
Why do you think your dad, granddad and uncles preached it to you when you were little? We can be covered in camo from head to toe, and most of us are, but if you are constantly bobbing your head and twisting around, deer and other animals will pick it up immediately.
This is a skill that can be learned simply with practice. Plant yourself in a likely place to see game, whether it is hunting season or not, and see how long you can sit without twitching so much as an earlobe. Long ago, solitary, grumpy, experienced turkey hunters (like me) taught themselves this.
No matter how many mosquito bites, gnats in your ear, or roots growing under your hindquarters, you just don’t move.
Stay put! This kinda sorta goes along with sitting still, but really refers to just making yourself stay in the same spot and be patient.
Ah, patience! There is that word that we don’t hear so much about anymore in the hunting world. You remember patience, don’t you? Right after Dad and Granddad lectured you on sitting still, they admonished you to stay put.
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The itch to get up and move to a supposedly better spot is tied to that urge we talked about before. We sit for a few minutes or an hour and think, “Aw, there is nothing here, I need to move.” (Remember that thing about patience?)
How many times have you gotten up from your sitting spot, collected your gear and started to move, only to spook a turkey or a buck that proceeds to vacate the area? Patience, Grasshopper.
OK, I hope you don’t think I was lecturing you too hard. As always, your humble outdoor scribe is just trying to help.
Slow down, sit still, stay put and take a kid hunting.
“Guns & Cornbread” is written by Larry Case, who lives in Fayette County, W.Va. You can write to him at larryocase3@gmail.com.