DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, I found out my adult child is transgender. Nobody knows yet except for me, my husband and my other child. Until this year, I have always worked in a very caring, loving and supportive environment. Recently, I overheard a new male co-worker say in a high-pitched voice, “I’m transgender! I’m transgender!” while spinning in circles and waving a scarf around his head. I was floored.
I wanted to say something to him about that being inappropriate and hurtful, but I was speechless. I have never before encountered this type of behavior. How do I handle this if something similar happens again? My child is not ready for the world to know, so I need to be careful. I’m kicking myself for not speaking up at the time. — REGRETFUL IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR REGRETFUL: It is unfortunate that transgender people (who make up less than 1% of the population) are being scapegoated by ignorant, ill-informed individuals. Gender identity disorder is not contagious. Trans people are a danger to no one, and they don’t deserve to be ridiculed. The next time this happens (and it may), don’t be shy about telling your co-worker that what he’s doing is inappropriate and hurtful and not to do it in front of you again.
DEAR ABBY: I have been having a friend-with-benefits relationship with a man I’ll call “Gene.” We are both in our 70s. He lives an hour away, and we see each other once a month. Gene is married, but his wife is disabled, and their relationship has deteriorated. We used to work together, and he was very lonely when I met him. Gene feels responsible for his wife and will never leave her, which is fine with me. I am not interested in a full-time boyfriend.
My issue is, if my two adult children found out about this, they would be very judgmental. I know it would damage my relationship with them. On the other hand, I don’t want to live my life on their terms. What do you think of all this? — HAPPY, BUT WORRIED, IN FLORIDA