The older ones among us doubtless remember. Back in the day, people would write in to advice columnists who would answer those questions in newspapers around the country. The most famous of them all, I am quite certain, was Dear Abby. People would write to her with short questions, and she would reply with pithy and often acerbic answers.
I am very much feeling that vibe these days. And so, I present to you edition one of “Dear Crabby,” where the pastor/advice columnist answers questions that may or may not have been asked.
Dear Crabby, I am really angry about what is happening in government, which I know is true because I saw it on social media. I want to go burn some random people’s cars to express my dissatisfaction. Is that OK? Thanks, Bernie from Brooklyn.
Dear Bernie, you aren’t the brightest bulb on the box or candle on the cake, are you? Burning other people’s stuff is not OK; if you want to burn a car, burn your own. But you probably don’t have one, do you, Bernie? You strike me as what Proverbs 20:4 calls a sluggard; otherwise, you would be busy working and not have time to burn other people’s stuff. Get a job, Bernie, preferably one that does not require a high IQ.
Dear Crabby, my pastor keeps offending people by preaching against sin. How can we get him to be more like Jesus? Thanks for the help, Conner in Connecticut.