DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, “Roy,” is a quiet person. His ex-girlfriend put him and his family through something so terrible that he shuts down and pulls away from me a lot. He won’t introduce me to his mother, although I have met his son. We’ve been together almost 18 months.
Five months ago, Roy stopped making love with me. I accused him of cheating, but he denied it. He’s just 44 and claims he has lost interest in sex and he doesn’t know why. He claims he’s still in love with me, but at times, I feel unloved by him. He has never treated me badly, but he barely kisses me now and he used to be affectionate. He says he was affectionate before his ex nearly destroyed him and his family’s lives.
Roy loves it when I call myself his wife and him my husband, but he acts like he is scared of love. What do you think? — LOVES MY TEDDY BEAR MAN
DEAR LOVES: I think your boyfriend (not husband) is sorely in need of counseling to resolve his trauma. Your relationship will not progress unless he finds the courage to discuss what happened with his ex with someone who can guide him on a path forward.
DEAR ABBY: I married a man who was divorced after 10 years of marriage. He and his ex-wife had four children together. After their divorce, they received joint custody of the children. He moved to another state, and the children remained with their mother.