Last October, Kelly Flanagan received a text from a friend who was walking down the makeup aisle at Target to pick something up for his wife: “Expectations on this aisle are oppressive.”
“That text was unsettling to me,” says Flanagan, husband, dad and clinical psychologist. “I think it was the combination of having a 4-year-old daughter, and a wife who is very conscious of the influence of media on young women that made my radar go up. I knew I couldn’t remain silent.
“In my practice I see far too many women, young and old, who believe their worth is wrapped up in the way they look. It is painful to observe what these kinds of messages do to a woman’s self-esteem.”
So Flanagan made a trip to the same makeup aisle and was blown away by the messaging. Phrases like: “affordably gorgeous,” “flawless finish,” “go nude,” “natural beauty” and “nearly naked.” He noticed that, while these were really good words, they were being used to create a standard for women that is unattainable.
The words became the inspiration for a letter to his daughter, which he wrote while sitting in the makeup aisle. The letter clearly resonated with people because it went viral shortly after he posted it on his blog “Untangled.” Here is an excerpt from the letter: