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Wiedmer: Imagine the vibrations of Falcons-Titans merger

imagine-the-vibrations-of-falcons-titans-merger
imagine-the-vibrations-of-falcons-titans-merger imagine-the-vibrations-of-falcons-titans-merger

By Mark Wiedmer 5 min read

photo Tennessee Titans wide receiver Michael Preston (14) scores a touchdown on an 8-yard pass play as he is defended by Arizona Cardinals cornerback Patrick Peterson (21) with 37 seconds left in the fourth quarter of an NFL football game in Nashville.
photo Atlanta Falcons strong safety William Moore (25) celebrates his interception against Washington Redskins quarterback Kirk Cousins with Atlanta Falcons strong safety Zeke Motta (41) during the second half of an NFL football game in Atlanta.

If only the Tennessee Titans and Atlanta Falcons could merge. Maybe take that $1.2 billion the Falcons are frivolously spending on that shiny new stadium they’re planning to build right next to the still-wonderful Georgia Dome and shift it a couple of hours north to Chattanooga.

Think about it. The Titans pretty much have everything but a top-notch NFL quarterback at the moment. Well, that and a couple of All-Pro caliber wide receivers. The Falcons, on the other hand, basically have only a top-notch quarterback and wide receivers (especially when Julio Jones returns).

So if Atlanta owner Arthur Blank insists on building a new stadium, why not here with a merged team? Maybe somewhere along the Tennessee River. Turn it so one end zone looks out over the water. Maybe with a waterfall that flows into the river.

If that all seems too expensive and extravagant, maybe that waterfall could replace the vibrating seats that are on tap for the new stadium in Atlanta each time the Birds make a big play. Maybe it could even flow into a giant pipe to carry water south to the Big Peach, at least as long as Georgia will agree to build that monorail from the Scenic City to the Atlanta airport.

But let’s back up a moment. Vibrating seats. You don’t even have to jump up and down anymore. The stadium does it for you. Before long each seat will double as a toilet so you don’t even have to fight bathroom lines. Of course, you’ll pay for it. But think of the convenience. And beer consumption might double, which could be a necessary stress reliever for fans of both the Titans and Falcons if these two franchises don’t dramatically improve soon.