Jeanne PhillipsDEAR ABBY: My wife died of cancer four years ago. She was my best friend, and the pain of losing her was more than I could cope with. I was in a fog for about two years, just going through the motions. Eventually the fear of spending the next 20 to 30 years alone drove me to try internet dating, but nothing came of it.
Then a year ago, an old friend introduced me to “Elaine.” We hit it off immediately. We share the same interests and offbeat sense of humor, and I have grown fond of her.
Our mutual friend told me that Elaine said she loves me and would be thrilled if I proposed – I guess to encourage me to the next level. My problem is, I’m still in love with my late wife.
If Elaine one day tells me she loves me, how do I respond without hurting her feelings or making her withdraw? – NEW YORK WIDOWER
DEAR WIDOWER: You and Elaine appear to have a communication problem. You are both adults. If she has fallen in love with you, you shouldn’t have to hear it from a mutual friend.