DEAR ABBY: Last year, I caught my husband cheating. He swore he’d never do it again.
I am triggered by things he says or does, or things I know he has done with her. When it happens, I usually bring up the affair again. He can’t stand that I do. He says we have to put it in the past.
We have been to marriage counseling that helped somewhat. I need to know how to stop bringing up these matters. I love him very much.
He is in the military and due to be deployed for a year. I’m afraid he may go online and start talking to someone. — TOTALLY LOST IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR TOTALLY LOST: I’m glad counseling helped you and your husband through the rough patch. Now it’s time for some more — for you, to help you cope with your insecurity issues. Making yourself crazy over what he might do during his year of deployment isn’t helping you or the state of your marriage. You have to make a decision about whether to trust your husband — and then proceed from there.