It was only natural, I suppose, that I should end up doing extensive marriage counseling in my pastoral ministry. When Dr. James Dobson is the main voice one grows up with radiating through the home, counseling and the family take on a monumental importance that never does go away. Little wonder, then, that in addition to doing 12 weeks of structured premarital counseling with every couple to be married, I have also quite often found myself counseling marriages in crisis, both those who showed up at my church that way and others often from far afield.
After more than 28 years of this, I have come to at least one inescapable conclusion: Our society in general views marriage as disposable and replaceable. And that is a shame, because there are some immeasurable benefits to making a marriage work for the long term.
Right here at the outset, let me make it abundantly clear that I do understand that no one should ever feel the need to endure being abused. You probably do not even want to know how harshly I would gladly deal with anyone who hurts a woman or a child. With that understanding established, though, please allow me to take a few moments of your time and tell you why it is to your benefit to work through difficulties and make your marriage last forever.
The foundational benefit is that a man and woman marrying, loving each other and staying together forever is God’s picture of his love for the church (Ephesians 5:22-33), and he blesses those who do so. Life in general can be pretty hard. Having God view you with pleasure and determine to bless you is a pretty handy benefit.
Having a friendship that weathers the test of time is another fantastic benefit. God gave Eve to Adam because, among other things, he deemed it “not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 1:18). From the early days of our lives, we make friends, grow apart from them and often lose contact altogether. I can still remember people I was once really tight friends with — “remember” being the key word — because I have not seen or heard from them for many long years.