Most people know Chuck Norris as an action star, martial artist and internet macho tough-guy legend. A Republican (of course). His manhood was beyond reproach.
Legend has it, Chuck Norris once told a woman to calm down, and she did. He only used a stunt double for crying scenes in his movies.
Norris’s workout routine? While most people do push-ups, Chuck Norris doesn’t push himself up — he pushes the Earth down. This explains tectonic plate movement, earthquakes and that one time your coffee spilled for no reason. That was leg day.
Today’s young man, by contrast, does not work out; he has a “wellness routine.” He works on his self-awareness and flexibility, and has a podcast queue that includes guided meditation apps. He does not shave; he has a “skin-care routine.” He texts in complete sentences, beginning with your name. An alarming number of men now have vision boards.
This wuss male votes Democrat because he is afraid to offend anyone. He moisturizes and talks about “his journey” a lot. There is a faint suspicion that he’s both evolving and way behind schedule.