Tonya Gentry, executive director of Breast Cancer Support Services in Chattanooga, says well-meaning people are sometimes stumped about what to say to a cancer patient.
Judge Rebecca Stern speaks speaks from the bench in this file photograph from 2013.NICE GESTURESWant to express your best thoughts to a family member, friend or colleague who has recently been diagnosed with cancer? Tonya Gentry, executive director of Breast Cancer Support Services, offers the following tips:• Deliver already-made meals that can be refrigerated or frozen and just need to be heated when needed (be sure to include cooking instructions).• Drop off a Redbox movie or other DVD at their house (don’t forget to come back by and pick it up).• Send a text that you’re thinking about them, without looking for a reply.• Text or call when you are at the grocery store to see if they need anything.• Offer to sit during chemo.• Send cards.• Search You Tube together on “How to tie a head scarf” and experiment it together.• Offer to weed a flower bed, walk the dog, vacuum, laundry, or other household chores that can be too tiring for the patient.• Go for a walk with the patient.• Great gift items for women going through chemo and radiation: Scarf (more and more women are opting for scarves over wigs); lotion (chemo is very drying to the skin); playing cards; books and magazines; fun socks (chemo room is cold); a warm blanket or throw; Biotene (moisturizing mouthwash); hard candy (for dry mouth).Source: Tonya Gentry, Breast Cancer Support Services executive director
People usually are trying to be nice, they really are. But they come down with a sudden case of foot-in-mouth disease and horrible words pop out of their mouths.
Breast cancer survivor Tonya Gentry knows all about it, and she understands. Some people are at a loss about what to say when someone they know has cancer. Although trying to be supportive, they’ll say the most inappropriate and insensitive things.
“My great aunt died of cancer, but that was a long time ago. I’m sure you’ll be fine,” someone told a stunned Gentry soon after her diagnosis three years ago.
How about, “Can I rub your (bald) head for good luck?” Wrong.