Jeanne PhillipsDEAR ABBY: I’m retired and have the time to sew and quilt projects, which I give as gifts. I presented a “Quilt of Valor” to my father to honor his military service. I also gave a sibling one of my personalized projects as a birthday gift.
Abby, when we visited their home recently, I was horrified to see one of their dogs sleeping on one of the pillows. When the dog woke up, it proceeded to scratch itself and then drag the hair-covered pillow through the house. I have been asked to make a quilt for a disabled child living at home who also has a dog that sleeps on her bed.
I no longer want to invest my time and energy after what happened to my gift. I feel unappreciated. Would it be wrong to refuse the request and say something about “gift abuse”? – SEW PERPLEXED IN THE NORTHWEST
DEAR SEW PERPLEXED: Verbalizing your refusal would be undiplomatic. Regardless of the fact that your hard work wasn’t appreciated as you hoped it would be, I do not recommend that you accuse the family of “gift abuse.” It appears they’re dealing with more important issues right now
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for 21 years. I’m extremely social, while he is not. For the past six to 10 years he has become increasingly resistant to going out in public places, especially when it involves getting together with my family or friends.