We have long been a country in conflict. This Thanksgiving week, I'd like to point out the Puritans followed the religion of John Calvin, and the economics of John Locke and my favorite signer, John Hart of Declaration of Independence fame.
They never saw eye to eye. Thomas Hooker was the dissenting Puritan theologian who got mad and left to form his own colony in Connecticut.
This is all starting to make sense: America was founded on a dispute among three Johns and a Hooker.
Most Americans do well as a family this time of year -- in short doses -- if there is plenty of booze around and football on TV. We Hart males are even willing to watch the Detroit Lions play just to avoid any meaningful family interaction.
Thanksgiving is about family, so we all really need to thank our parents first. If your parents never had children, chances are good that you don't, either. But either way, this is a great time to reflect with gratitude on the year. Even though it was an awful year because of crime, inflation and politics, do not ruin your holiday dinners trying to talk about it.
I did a nice thing in crime-ridden Atlanta: I let a guy jump ahead of me in the checkout line at Publix. I had 30 items, and he only had two: a note and a gun.
The 2022 election was like 2020's. Voters made the same begrudging choices, rejecting the bombastic ego of Trump and pushing back at the abortion policies of the GOP religious right. We did so without embracing the lunacy of the Democrat agenda. I think we like a split government so neither side will be able to do too much to hurt us.
A few thoughts about 2022:
› It was a good year for us older guys. Sylvester Stallone made a comeback with "Tulsa King." And 20th Century Fox brought back its 79-year-old star Harrison Ford to shoot "Indiana Jones 5." Instead of outrunning a massive boulder, Indiana Jones spends most of the movie in the hospital passing a huge kidney stone. You could tell the script had changed. In the first part of the movie, Indy embarks on an expedition to try to discover where he left his reading glasses. They turn out to be on the top of his head.
› Two 80-ish old guys essentially battled it out in national politics. Historically, when two white guys this old are arguing, it is in the balcony of the Muppet Theater on PBS.
› It got bad this year with woke companies going off the rails (Disney, Twitter, Facebook and the like), and their stock prices crashing. Elon Musk cannot rescue them all. But if you would be so kind, Elon, please try Ticketmaster next.
› When the woke celebs did their new "I am leaving for Canada" shtick after Musk bought Twitter and brought back free speech, it rang hollow. It was like "I am leaving, but first I am posting why I am leaving. And now I'm sticking around to see the comments on my post about me leaving ..." Oh wait -- the celebs are still here.
› Crypto-creep and Democrat bagman Sam Bankman-Fried is facing extradition from the Bahamas for his FTX bitcoin Ponzi schemes. Bitcoin is the digital version of the Pet Rock. Bankman-Fried purportedly paid off old investors with funds from new investors and diverted money to Democrat causes for cover. If convicted, he could serve four to eight years as U.S. Treasury secretary.
› Joe Biden pardoned two Thanksgiving turkeys in the traditional White House ceremony. Their names were Hunter Indictment Count One and Hunter Indictment Count Two. Biden only pardoned the turkeys who bought a Hunter Biden painting last year.
This can be a lonely time of year for some of us in transition. It is the time of year when we should be thinking of others. So, if there are people out there by themselves with no one to come visit them this week, please reach out to me. I need to borrow some chairs and a gravy boat.
Contact Ron Hart, a syndicated satirist, author and radio/TV commentator, at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.