DEAR ABBY: I’m a 45-year-old woman who has been dating “Ben” (53) for two years. Prior to our dating, he had a girlfriend he used to confide in me about. I was very jealous of her.
Fast-forward two years: Abby, I cannot stop obsessing over her! I think about her constantly and compare myself to her. I stalk her social media page. Ben has never given me a reason not to trust him, so why am I still bothered by her?
She has moved on and is in another relationship. How can I finally quit obsessing about her and move forward? I don’t feel this way about his other exes, but for some reason, this one gets under my skin.Any advice? — INSECURE IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR INSECURE: In light of the fact that your boyfriend’s ex is happily in another relationship, this obsession is really a waste of your time and energy. Although you may still feel threatened, the woman is no longer your competition. Whether your issue is insecurity or lack of self-esteem, it’s time to wake up and recognize that Ben chose you over her. If you can’t accept that and relax, you may need to discuss it with a licensed psychotherapist for help to stop cyberstalking her. She may be a part of your boyfriend’s past, but please do not continue making her part of your present.
DEAR ABBY: We have three grandchildren, and we feel strongly about the importance of a college education. When the first one graduated from high school, we gave him $500 for graduation, plus an additional $1,500 to be used for college-related expenses. He had already indicated that he was enrolling in college.