My kindergartner has a large number of friends. Of course, the majority of them are “girlfriends,” but that’s a topic for a different column on another day. The most consistent comments I’ve received about his personality is that he is very affectionate and social … sometimes a little too social. He even gained the nickname “The Fonz” at a Mother’s Day Out program he attended from ages 2 to 5 years old.
While I’m confident my son knows how to be sociable, and he loves making new friends, I’ve also heard him have a really hard time letting others be in the lead during games or imaginative play. He also struggles with knowing and maintaining his physical boundaries and the boundaries of others. He loves to give hugs and kisses, as well as wrestle you to the ground through his infamous “step-over toe hold” — a move generously taught to him by my dad.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how to influence some of these things, especially since I’m not typically there to intervene or guide him on the playground.
This year, the University of Georgia published a study that digs into this idea: How parents engage with their children on a daily basis could actually influence how they play with their peers.
According to the study, kids learn critical social skills through their primary relationships — which means their parents or caregivers are the No. 1 influencers on the list. Whether it’s navigating who goes first on the slide or sharing that favorite toy, children draw from their daily, often tiny, interactions at home to build their “friendship toolkit.”