DEAR ABBY: I’ve been in a relationship with a man for the last five years. “Julian” came into my life after my husband passed. He is 65; I’m 45. Julian has two grown daughters, 36 and 27. The older one and I get along famously.
Amber is somewhat immature. She has two small kids, and she’s her dad’s perfect, precious, can-do-no-wrong daughter. The unvarnished truth is that Amber is a snotty, judgmental woman who thinks she’s better than everyone. Because Julian wasn’t there while she was growing up, his guilt makes it especially hard for him to see her for who she is.
Amber and I do not care for each other, and the cracks are starting to show. She is becoming a bone of contention in the relationship because I cannot stand how she uses guilt to manipulate her dad. He was always a caring father and a good provider, if not always there physically.
I am at my wits’ end. She is driving a wedge into an otherwise good relationship. When I try speaking with Julian, he will hear nothing against her. I get that it’s his kid, but I am sick of her. The worst part is when she plays it off like she is innocent and perfect. Any advice? — HAD IT IN THE WEST
DEAR HAD IT: Yes, I do have some. As you stated, in Julian’s eyes, his “little girl” is perfect and precious. You are not going to win this battle, so start backing off and find a new direction — or a new boyfriend. Please accept my sympathy.