DEAR ABBY: I have three daughters with children of their own. Every year, we have a family vacation. My daughter “Monica’s” children, ages 8 and 9, whom I love and see regularly, behave badly. They cuss, yell at adults and show no respect whatsoever.
We have brought this to Monica’s attention multiple times. She always reacts like we are wrong and says, “I’m not going to beat my kids.” At no time did we imply she should “beat” her kids, just give them a time-out or a scolding. If any of us tell them “Stop, please don’t do that,” they act like victims. It’s so bad that one of my other daughters told us as we were planning a vacation that she will not be going because of Monica’s kids’ behavior.
Monica accuses us of not liking her kids and being mean. She goes to the school to argue with teachers and the principal if her kids tell her they didn’t get their way. I don’t know what her issue is. Her reasons sound like she is mentally ill. Anything you can recommend? — NOT ENABLING IN NEVADA
DEAR NOT ENABLING: Monica is a terrible parent. A responsible mother would see that her children learn appropriate behavior before they get into serious trouble. Because you cannot help your daughter to see reality, I recommend you stop inviting Monica and her children on these vacations. Their behavior is unacceptable, and their cousins should not be further influenced by their bad example.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 70-year-old male caring for my 71-year-old wife. She has had health issues for more than 10 years. I own my own business and am the only employee, although my wife does help me with a portion of the business. Dealing with all her health issues, trying to run a business, trying to survive financially and navigating the world today is difficult.