DEAR ABBY: I work in an office with a man who has expressed an interest in me in various subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways, including winks. I have also caught him staring at me with intense longing. We communicate well, and he has told me I have influenced him. We are both disciplined, determined and accomplished men. I envy him for his easy smile, his self-confidence and his effortless, universal appeal.
This man is married with grown children. I am a widower, 21 years his senior. I am prepared to say to him, “You are spoken for, and I’m not a homewrecker. If you are ever single again, you and I should have a serious conversation. But unless that day comes, much will remain unsaid.” I suspect the two of us would have a good life together. I do not believe I am misreading his intent. Have you any advice for me? — INTERESTED IN WASHINGTON
DEAR INTERESTED: This younger colleague may be as attracted to you as you are to him. However, he could also consider you nothing more than a valued mentor. Because he is married, I’m concerned that if you say what you are thinking to him, it could disrupt your working relationship or even be considered harassment. Do not jeopardize your job by doing it.
DEAR ABBY: My husband vapes in our home, and I have run out of ways to get it through his thick skull that this is unhealthy, not only for his health, but for mine. Even more upsetting is that he vapes when our grandchildren are here and when he drives them in his truck.
I have printed reliable scientific information for him, yet his response is always, “I know, I’m sorry, I need to stop.” It’s been seven years, so that’s how sincere his response is. He just continues trying to hide what he’s doing.