Sometimes my inner critic has a megaphone. Like when I’m late to first-grade pickup or send an email with a typo.
When does your inner critic show up? When you say the wrong thing in a meeting? At breakfast when you’ve burned the toast? Or maybe you’re in a season of high stress and your inner critic is consistently whispering: You could be doing more or better in life. … You need to be more focused at work and at home. … Why did you do that?
Helpful, right? Not always.
But here’s the twist: That critical voice is usually trying to protect you. And when we learn to listen wisely, it can actually help us grow.
Psychotherapist Richard Schwartz, who created a form of therapy called internal family systems (IFS), says our inner world has “parts,” like members of a little family inside us. The inner critic is one of those parts, usually a protector, trying awkwardly to keep us safe from shame or failure. Instead of fighting it, IFS suggests we get curious about what it’s worried about. That stance can soften the sting and reveal what we truly need.