DEAR ABBY: I had three close girlfriends in college. We lost touch with one of them more than 35 years ago. She has family in our area but moved to the Midwest and stopped communicating with us, though she regularly visits family nearby.
Over the years, I got a new job, married, had two kids, divorced, moved and retired. This friend has recently gotten back in touch. I don’t know what prompted it. I have friends who have supported me all my life and deserve my attention. She was brave to reconnect, and I don’t want to be harsh, but she certainly has not been a good friend to me. What do you think? — RELUCTANT FORMER FRIEND
DEAR RELUCTANT: I think you have two choices: You can ignore this former friend’s attempt to reconnect, or you could respond by asking her what prompted her to reach out after all these years. If she tells you she wants to get together, depending on her answer, either agree or explain that your paths diverged decades ago, you have a busy life and are not available.
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 11 years. Most of them were good. Two years ago, my husband started drinking again. It has caused a lot of problems, including a DUI, and my family won’t come around anymore. I’m feeling incredibly isolated. I recently met someone. He has become my best friend, and we have strong feelings for each other. Is it wrong to want to move on? — DONE WITH IT IN WEST VIRGINIA
DEAR DONE: That you would want to move on is natural, considering the fact that you have spent the last two years with an addicted stranger. Would you be open to staying in your marriage if your husband were willing to quit drinking and get help? If the answer is yes, offer him a choice: Dry out or lose you, because you have had it. If he lapses, follow through.