published Thursday, February 10th, 2011

County records two more traffic fatals

Two are dead and one in critical condition after the car they were driving left Fairview Road and crashed into several trees, according to the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office.

Investigators said a female and two males were traveling north in a 1997 Mercury Grand Marquis when they crashed near 6559 Fairview Road near Chickamauga Lake around 5 p.m. Thursday. The female was found dead in the vehicle and one of the males died of his injuries at Erlanger hospital. The second male is in critical condition at Erlanger.

This is the second fatal traffic accident in the county this week. Two died in a three-car accident on state Highway 60 in the Birchwood community Tuesday night.

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Echo said...

Winter Driving Tips for Southern Folks brought to you by your local Automotive Engineers.

1) Limit bad weather driving if possible by buying your methamphetamine precursors in advance.

2) Avoid rapture while driving vehicles on slick roads.

3) Automotive research indicates "Mashin' the Gas" does not increase vehicle tire traction in snow.

4) Modern automotive tires will not disintegrate at 31F, or even 25F so it is not necessary to reduce your freeway speed by 90 percent if you see a snowflake.

5) God may love you, but he'll do nothing to stop you from dying if you fail to notice that bridges and overpasses freeze first.

6) Passing on left lane is advised in all weather conditions. Smoking, texting, fellating, daydreaming, having a stroke, smacking kids, and bible study on right.

7) If wave of sudden fear washes over you while driving at 31F, just start signing "East Bound and Down" by Jerry Reed to yourself until the panic passes and your confidence returns. Ease over to the right lane.

8) When preparing to turn on icy roads, smooth braking technique will work better than NASCAR pit stop braking technique.

9) If skidding, return cigarette to ashtray and Natty Lite to cup holder. Place hands in the 3 and 9 o' clock positions on the steering wheel. Steady like Freddy.

10) If your vehicle leaves the roadway and goes airborne, it's too late to fasten seat belt. Give a rebel yell and cut on the "Dixieland" horn. It always works for the Duke boys.

February 10, 2011 at 11:12 p.m.
dao1980 said...

That's hilarious Echo, and sadly relevant to more folks than would ever admit to it.

February 11, 2011 at 8:38 a.m.
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