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Draconian or Falconian
That is the question.
Atlanta is my favorite NFL team. Sure all of us at roughly this age were attracted to the Steelers or the Cowboys because of the success of those teams through the 70s and early 1980s.
And maybe if you're a smidgen younger than me, you are a 49ers fan or connected some allegiance through family or whatever reason.
Side note: Do not knock the tangential reasons kids become lifelong fans, be them the player who signed their first glove — Steve Garvey for me — or how awesome the uniforms looked.
But I was raised a Falcons fan from almost the very beginning.
Side note, part II on fandom: If the HOPE scholarship had been about 10 years earlier, I would be one of the most insufferable UGA alums you know, and that is saying something. So there's that. Loved Herschel at the height of his powers. But then again, a dude named Vincent Jackson went to a small cow college on a lovely village, so who knows. Yes, I have an English Bulldog who looks like UGA but is named Bo Jackson.
Where were we?
Ah yes, the Falcons.
We sat in those fold-out bleachers in Fulton County Stadium from 1977 to the strike in '82. Then Pop was out. Done with the "greedy" players and "elitist" owners. Sweet buckets, Pop has been dead more than five years, wonder what he thinks of these cats now?
But for these Falcons, who I loved from the days of Bubba Bean and William Andrews (the last jersey I have worn that was was not handed to me for playing purposes in 1981) and Steve Bartkowski and Junior Miller and the Gritz Blitz and all the rest.
Side note part III: So I have had the chance to play a slew of great golf courses and any time I am at a venue that requires the services of a caddie, one of my early questions is who is the most famous person you have carried a bag for? The first dude that toted my sticks at Augusta spoke little English. The second dude at Augusta National said he carried two bags for a slew of NASCAR bigwigs that included Dale Jarrett — who he said could really play — and Rusty Wallace — who he said cussed more than Eddie Murphy in the late 1980s. So there's that.)
Well at The Honors, one time one of the fellows who was on my bag — and know this, if you have a caddie somewhere, there's 100% chance that person is a way, way, WAY better player than you are, so just shut up, listen, and be coachable — said he carried bags for Steve Bartkowski and his son in a celebrity tournament. Also in the group was actor Lucas Black, who is famous for a lot of stuff, including playing the QB1 in the movie version of "Friday Night Lights" as well as the little kid with the deep Southern drawl that befriends Billy Bob Thornton's Carl in "Sling Blade."
So Bartkowski and his kid are, according to the caddie, kind of in awe of Black because the Bartkowskis apparently have seen "Sling Blade" like 1,000 times. And they are not sure how to start the conversation about the movie with the grown-up actor before them who is a serious and good golfer.
So on No. 10 at The Honors — a place so tough that after playing his round there in the 1980s Lewis Grizzard famously said of the locale that he had no idea "Ooltewah was the Cherokee word for double-bogey" — Black gets caught in a slew of fairway bunkers and is well on his way to a 7 or 8.
Black unloads a Ralphie slew of curse words that any golfer would and that may still be hovering over Collegedale as we speak, and without thinking, Bartkowski's son deadpans the classic line from Carl of "Don't think a young boy like you ought to be talking like 'at" and the whole group exploded in laughter.
So enough of the side notes.
And about the Falcons...
Yes, I can easily get distracted. So it goes.
But let's think for a moment in the real frame of the modern NFL.
Atlanta is a game out of first. They have a coach and a front office truly fighting for their jobs by every measure.
There should be a new coach on the sideline as we speak and a search underway for the next GM who can be the Falcons version of Alex Anthopoulos, but that sadly is not my decision.
What we do know is the following:
— There are three games left in the regular season.
— If the Falcons win out — which would include a win over the Saints in the regular-season finale — they have a better than 70% chance to make the playoffs according to ESPN analytics.
— Any team with any seed that makes the playoffs has a) had a season to be proud of and b) has a chance to shock the world.
— If the Falcons lose out, they likely will drop into the top of next spring's QB-loaded NFL draft.
So, as a lifelong Falcons fan who cried all the way home when Danny White broke our heart and who wanted to try to dance like Billy "White Shoes" Johnson and knows the Dirty Bird and is thankful for the good Jamaal Anderson and believe Deion should be in consideration for the next HC gig, I will say this:
The Falcons should do everything in their power to lose the next three.
Even if it means keeping Arthur Smith, and Smith walks in and says, "We'll tank to get Caleb Williams or Drake Maye or (fingers crossed) Jayden Daniels, because that's the way to take the big step.
"We have a defense that plays hard, plays fast and plays well. We have an offense that is more constipated than Uncle Fester after a full day at the Fondue Foundry.
"If we get a QB1 — a true QB1 because we have 100% mismanaged any chance Desmond Ridder had to be a QB1 — we are the NFC South favorites next year."
While few want to admit it when it comes to losing on purpose to get to a place to winning regularly, I'll simply quote "The Mandalorian":
"This is the way."
Not mocking the Mocs
So UTC is 8-3 heading toward Christmas after a hard-fought win over Gardner-Webb last night that included a dramatic buzzer beater from recently cleared transfer Trey Bonham.
Here's more from Gene Henley, the TFP UTC beat writer.
So the Mocs are good. Or are they? I have not watched them.
I have considered betting on them, and I would have lost last night.
I have won on them previously.
And yes, UTCMocs and DD and a collection of other regulars around this interweb outpost are game-in, game-out followers who can tell you way more about the ins and outs of Dan Earl's program, which clearly did not play well against Gardner-Webb — what is their nickname, and should it not be changed to the Spiders? — but still won.
There's value in winning when you play poorly. There is also the true that playing poorly against a mediocre team at best can be a season-ender.
But here are a few questions, and I ask this for the folks here who want to share serious answers in both regards:
— Do you go to UTC hoops games?
— Why or why not?
— What would it take for you to attend more UTC basketball games?
Is there anything?
I ask in earnest and not in any attempt to mock. Truly.
Discuss.
This and that
— Yikes did I get wordy or what up there. Hey it happens. Man, a 2-1 mark in last night's plays was better than we likely deserved since a) we won the total in the bowl game by 0.5 points and b) needed both OTs for Florida to ease by Michigan.
— You know the rules. Here's Paschall on the recent run of Tennessee recruits. Man, he's good at his job.
— Unbelievably interesting story here on the impact of power college football programs on the housing markets in the local areas of those schools. It leads with UGA and it makes a ton of sense. It also means that wherever the oldest 5-at-10 tot goes to school, the youngest will follow and I may buy now in the greater AU area.
— So, about this. The PGA is readily reinstating Angel Cabrera after he served two years in the pokey — did we decide whether pokey or hoosegow was the better slang for the joint? — for gender violence, but they won't speak with former stars who are in the LIV? Yikes. Jay Monahan is worse at his job than I think anyone I know.
— I am not following Chattanooga proper politics anymore. My A2 column went away a few years ago to focus on my online efforts. But I do believe these two things: a) Tim Kelly is a used car salesman, regardless what his current nameplate on his mayoral door says and b) when the word "bypasses" is used in governmental decisions, then something is fishy.
Today's questions
Wow, a whole show with no Christmas references. Yikes.
So we will offer only one — "One ping only Vasily" — which-way-Wednesday question.
If you could only watch one — just one ping only Vasily — Christmas movie each year, which one are you choosing.
I would likely take "It's a Wonderful Life" knowing my family will pick "Christmas Vacation," "Home Alone" and potentially "Die Hard" or "Elf" or something else loaded with Christmas fun.
As for today, Dec. 20, let's review.
Wow, speaking of the above question, "It's a Wonderful Life" premiered on this day in 1946. Donna Reed threw a 98-mph fastball with movement at the height of her powers people.
Dang, big day for Jimmy Stewart as "Harvey" premiered on this day in 1950. Ol' Mr. Stewart is up there with Kris Kristofferson and Ted Williams as true American legends if you want to know the truth.
Buckets, is this the day to release all-timers, because "Godfather II" was released on this day in 1974. Yikes and yes it is on the short list of best sequels ever.
Seriously, this must be like a favorite day on the studios' calendars, because check this list of other movies that premiered on this day:
— "Working Girl" in 1988.
— "Father of the Bride" in 1991.
— "Scream" in 1996.
— "Gangs of New York" in 2002.
Also, Jonah Hill is 40 today. What's his Rushmore?
Go and remember the mailbag.