Chattanooga Now Chattanooga roller-derby team's season opens Saturday

Chattanooga Now Chattanooga roller-derby team's season opens Saturday

March 18th, 2011 by Staff Report in Chattnow Outabout


Note: Spring and summer bouts at Chattanooga Convention Center. Fall bouts at National Guard Armory.

March 19: vs. Burn City Rollers

May 21: vs. opponent TBA

July 23: vs. Classic City Rollergirls

Sept. 24: vs. Columbia QuadSquad

Nov. 19: vs. Little City Roller Girls

The Chattanooga Roller Girls will take on the Burn City Rollers of Auburn, Ala., Saturday for the March Badness crown.

The bout opens the season for the two flat-track roller-derby teams.

Doors open at 6 p.m., and the contest starts at 7 p.m. at the Chattanooga Convention Center, 1 Carter Plaza.

Tickets are $10 in advance, $12 at the door; $5 for children 6-12. For a link to tickets, visit

Home action will continue every other month through summer at the Chattanooga Convention Center and later at the National Guard Armory.

If you like the action in the rink Saturday, you're invited to attend the tryout training workshop 11 a.m.-1 p.m. March 26 at Roller Coaster Skate World, 2076 LaFayette Road, Fort Oglethorpe.

"Be sure to get out and get some practice in before the workshop," said coordinator Bully Jean on the website. "It's important to be comfortable on skates. It's hard to do the drills if you have to hold on to the rails."

Referees and nonskating officials and team volunteers (ticket booth, merchandise table, etc.) also are needed during the season.


The player profiles at divulge a few secrets about the team, including some common themes.

Cha Cha De-Gore-Yo: Dislikes "the infinite void of time and space - and cleaning."

Jenny Hate: Joined "to be part of an awesome team."

Sincerely Val: Her motto? "I dare you to try and not like it."

Llama Trauma: Had been around since the league started but for several months "I didn't even own skates." Has "no idea" why she joined.

Violet Heartbreaker: Joined to get "my 'me' time."

Gris Gris: Self-described voodoo priestess likes good posture, dislikes bad form.

Gisele Bludgeon: Joined because "it doesn't involve throwing a ball."

Mosh Kenazi: Joined "so I could be a shareholder in Club Badd."

Bully Jean: Likes "blocking, bruises and Bacardi."

Samsterdam: Likes "boys, bruises and Bud Ice."

Kara Vorkian: Likes "smacking girls into walls."

SarahVander HolyWheels: Joined because "I wasn't a very nice ballerina."

Meaty Bones: Likes "knocking girls into the wall ... [and] my new derby booty."

Shank Williams Jr.: Likes tattoos and bruises.

Torque Chop: Lives by the motto "If you can't play nice, play derby."

Regina Spectre: She's a Jane Austen fan.

Bellona Bash'em: "I watched the movie 'Whip It' and thought, 'I could do that.' "