Sports cars have never really done it for me. Even the fancy ones. Perhaps especially the fancy ones. For as long as I can remember, I've associated them with older men going through very expensive mid- to late-life crises, or younger Mark Cuban wannabes with something to prove. It's reverse snobbery, an unfair stereotype I felt was justified because while they were laughing all the way to the bank, I was driving around with my "check engine" light on for an irresponsibly long time, keeping my fingers crossed so tightly my knuckles were white.
It was these prejudgments that made me jump at the chance to go to the Porsche Driving Experience when given the opportunity. It would be a fascinating, slightly voyeuristic glimpse into the exclusive world of luxury sports car racing, a high-dollar hobby that, in my opinion, registered as a 10 on the pretension scale.
Also, I'm a bald-faced hypocrite with a taste for the finer things in life who loves a good thrill just as much as the next guy. Hey, at least I'm honest about it.
Having done minimal research beforehand, I arrived at Barber Motorsports Park with just a vague idea as to what I was getting myself into. Located just outside of Birmingham, Alabama, the sprawling 830-acre facility, famous for its meticulously maintained landscaping, includes a pristine, world-class racetrack; a large paved area perfect for a variety of high-performance driving exercises; and three off-road courses.
The grounds are also home to the Barber Vintage Motorsports Museum, an epic five-story architectural delight featuring a dizzying display of the world's largest collection of vintage motorcycles, Lotus race cars and more. Even if you have zero interest in cars, I would highly suggest making a day trip to see this under-the-radar cultural gem. Believe me, it's legit.
After a quick stroll through the museum (and with two flattened, embossed keepsake pennies in hand), I headed to the track to check in and get down to business. My particular session was put on by area dealerships and was really just a taste of the actual Porsche Sport Driving School, cramming lots of action into one afternoon rather than a full day or more. Following a brief introduction, the 80 or so participants were broken into smaller, more manageable groups. The crowd varied in age and consisted of first-timers as well as those who'd done this kind of thing before, whether through Porsche or other luxury car brands. Casually dressed and surprisingly friendly, there were far more women than I expected, making up almost half of the group.
Expertly organized and seamlessly executed, we began the day by rotating through a series of thrilling training exercises designed to develop participants' existing driving skills while experiencing firsthand the cutting-edge engineering, unparalleled performance and elegant design for which Porsche is famous.
Kate Brennan prepares to put her driving skills to the test.Next up were what I've coined "high-class doughnuts," again in the 911 but done on the skid pad, a large, uber-slippery paved surface that allows drivers to explore the limits of traction control via the innovative and potentially life-saving Porsche Stability Management System, a feature standard in all new models. Just below the skid pad is the aggressive maneuvering/lane change course where drivers are forced to quickly and aggressively simulate sharp lane changes, ending with a dramatically abrupt stop at full speed. Executed in the Panamera Turbo hatchback, aka my ultimate car crush, the activity puts four participants in a car at a time, alternating drivers after each lap. Being a helpless passenger in a vehicle piloted by a speed-obsessed stranger was initially terrifying, but the quality of Porsche's maneuvering capabilities was so apparent, any trepidation quickly morphed into pure, unadulterated exhilaration.
The Porsche Driving School features a lineup of various makes and models from the iconic brand.The rotation's last two exercises took us to one of the facility's off-road courses to experience the Cayenne SUV's four-wheel drive capabilities. Driven by a pro instructor, we went along for the ride as the Cayenne did battle with muddy, uneven terrain, took us down a startling 50 percent incline, and, at one point, even got up on two wheels without a single hitch. Nestled in the grounds' lush and peaceful woods, the off-road course allowed me to catch my breath and reclaim some composure before the day's highly anticipated conclusion on the main track.
If you go
Porsche Sport Driving SchoolSchedule, pricing and cars used vary and are subject to change. List of available courses — one- to four-day options — with corresponding pricing available at porschedriving.com.Drivers must be 21 years or older to participate.• Phone: 770-290-7000• Email: sportdrivingschoo@porsche.usBarber Vintage Motorsports Museum• Hours (April 1-Sept. 30): Monday-Saturday: 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sunday: Noon to 6 p.m.• Hours (Oct. 1-March 31): Monday-Saturday: 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday: Noon to 5 p.m.• Admission Adults: $15 Children ages 4-12: $10 Children 3 and under: Free• Website: Barbermuseum.org• Phone: 205-699-7275
It was a grand finale to top all grand finales.
The main speedway was the scene for the afternoon's final thrills: a lead-follow exercise, which involved driving multiple laps alone in a 911, Boxter, Panamera and Macan, reaching speeds of over 80 mph while closely following a pro instructor; and one lap in the rare, 500-horsepower 911 GT3 RS with a pro behind the wheel, reaching speeds of 140 mph. Both exercises really showed off what these powerful machines are capable of: hitting staggering speeds while maintaining complete control. The cars become an extension of your body, and once you realize you can trust them, you feel free to be more aggressive and push your own limits as a driver.
My heart raced the entire drive back to Chattanooga - during which I had to remind myself that I was back in my car with the "check engine" light on, and not in a world-class luxury sports car.
In addition to how much I loved the driving, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the people with whom I shared the day. I expected to walk in, meet my fellow participants and immediately assume a perma eye roll for the remainder of the afternoon. Instead, I found myself surrounded by friendly, enthusiastic men and women with a shared passion for the sport who just so happened to have enough money to support the hobby. (The regular one-day course costs $1,800.) For many, this wasn't their first rodeo, yet they still beamed with delight after each exercise and were genuinely excited for those of us experiencing everything for the first time.
My final takeaway? Reverse snobbery be damned; I want to be a Porsche driver.