Red: 0; bag of chicken bones stolen from the garbage: 1.Today, my favorite person in the world turns 15. OK — it’s not a person, per se. It’s my dog, Red. A dachshund-pittie mix, his favorite things include window-gazing and trash-eating. In his honor, I’d like to share a story about, arguably, his best and worst day.
It was 2010. I lived in a first-floor downtown apartment, where I kept a chair next to the front living room window — for Red, of course. Every time I came home, there he was, peering out at me. Then, one day, I came home to an unsettling sight. Red was in the window as always … but something seemed off behind that blur of screen and glass.
Inside, I found Red sitting normally in his chair — but with a paper bag pulled tightly over his head. Luckily, his wet nose had torn a hole in its bottom so he could breathe. Following a brief investigation (and maybe a few quick photos), I learned that, in my absence, Red had pulled the sack of hot wing bones from the trash.
Committed to cleaning every last smear and shard, he managed to wedge his oblong head too far into the bag. Really, with that sort of sense, it’s amazing he’s made it to 15.
Still, he’s a good boy. The best boy in the whole world, actually. Happy birthday, Red!