On Dec. 27, news broke that actress Natalie Portman is both pregnant and engaged.
"Wow," I quipped to a friend, "Daddy had a shotgun."
For the record, I have no personal knowledge about the very talented Ms. Portman and her choreographer fiancé/baby daddy, nor am I conjecturing that he actually popped in the question in panic after the strip turned pink.
But ... (grand pause) ... if you announce both your betrothal and your being with child at the same time, some might wonder whether the rabbit died before the ring was purchased.
Do we still live in an age of shotgun weddings/engagements? It certainly happens, but as the concept of family evolves, there are also plenty of unmarried/unengaged pairs who happily raise children either as loving couples or as respectful co-parents. Am I wrong in thinking that the stigma of mom and dad not being married has been diminished?
"Seriously?" a dear old friend wrote in response to my online request for people to share their thoughts on shotgun weddings. "I love you, but seriously?" That statement was preceded by one I will not repeat because while he's far enough away from the Bible Belt to avoid repercussion, I have to live (not to mention maintain a career) here.
So clearly, at least one person thinks we ought to leave shotgun weddings/enagements in the past, along with dowries and teenage weddings. But they do happen, and I'm always a little surprised.
"I feel for those who don't do this engagement thing the traditional way," said another responder, Tom. By "traditional way" I think he means engagement, marriage, baby, in that order.
Five years ago, I worked with a pleasant young man who had a pregnant, and most unpleasant-sounding, fiancée.
"How long have you two been engaged?" I asked him.
"Since after we found out she was pregnant," he replied.
He always had an air of misery when he spoke of her, and I couldn't help but think he might be happier to exercise another option. Though if I recall correctly, she would have refused him access to the child if he didn't marry her. She was a real ... well, you know what she is.
I heard through the grapevine that they did marry. I wish him well. I even wish her well. Mostly, I wish the child a happy home. But I have my doubts.
I can't help it.
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